High School Fool
by InFoDaGigs
Summary: During his first semester finals Naruto discovers what everyone else already knows: he's in love with Sasuke. Problem is, Naruto's already seeing someone - and so is Sasuke. [AU] [YAOI]
1. Chapter 1

The dorm wasn't small; two bedrooms, a decent kitchen (all appliances included for a minimal extra fee per semester which they split), an awesome bathroom with a built in spa, a balcony overlooking the mountains on the south boundary of campus, and the coolest lounge slash entertaining area a college kid could hope for. They even had their own double garage which Sasuke had claimed and Naruto stashed his bike in.

Naruto pulled his pillow over his head; the darkness heightened his other senses, especially his hearing, and wished that he had been in on the layout planning of these rooms. See, he would have situated the bedrooms further apart, like faaarrr apart and added way more padding to the walls all to stifle the …

'Mm .. hah ..'

Naruto groaned and squeezed the pillow over his ears. It had been an awesome idea to move into the dorms at the start of semester. Awesome, because Naruto had come up with the idea, so of course, it was awesome. He'd more like dragged Sasuke along with him than acknowledge his protests about unsanitary mattresses, and questionable behaviours of 'public' living. Naruto had all but convinced him, playing off his best friend's reserved introvertedness, telling him it would be great to experience the 'whole college thing' and all the perks that went along with it, and when they saw what was on offer they commended themselves on their awesome choice.

'Hh … h … mmm …'

But once his roommate had discovered what else was on offer, Naruto had seriously doubted them living together. The guy was so quiet and reserved, who would've guessed he masqueraded on the weekends as a fucking sex pistol? It hurt Naruto that his best friend in the whole world had kept this dark side of him hidden for all these years. They had grown up together, gone to the same preschool, hung in the same circles, ate at the same places, shared baths (when they were younger, not by choice), and basically had lived together for years (again, not really by choice). They were pretty tight, more like brothers than friends, knew everything and anything about each other. But Naruto felt like killing himself whenever Sasuke brought home a stray and assaulted his senses every other weekend.

With another quiet groan of frustration, Naruto turned over onto his right side, facing the wall, squeezing the pillow even tighter. But, no matter how hard he tried to muffle the groans and … whatever else that was coming from Sasuke's bedroom, his imagination heightened every sound. It wasn't that he was annoyed that he couldn't sleep through it, it wasn't even that he was annoyed that Sasuke was getting some and he wasn't, hell, the guy needed it, it was more the fact that …

'I have finals in the morning …' Naruto hissed. No one heard his complaint. He was already failing, he just didn't get the studying thing; he just had never gotten into the groove of reading and regurgitating the information into a coherent and justified argument good enough for his grades to warrant anything higher than a C average, and if Sasuke – and of course Sakura – hadn't been beside him his entire academic life, he wouldn't even be averaging that.

He would be angry, he _should_ be angry at Sasuke, but he couldn't be because he knew that Sasuke would die of embarrassment if he even thought Naruto could hear them going at it. He wouldn't be able to even look at Naruto if he had known that he was witness to his weekend antics. It was just the type of guy he was; private, reserved, reclusive to a point, and even more surprisingly, mostly anti social. He was a shy guy, and knowing that Naruto could hear them get all hot and heavy would, without a doubt, shatter him into a million pieces.

'Fuck's sake,' Naruto whined as the groaning and whatever became more frequent, 'you fucking owe me, bro.' Naruto took his headphones from his side table, shoved them over his ears, pressed play, not caring what drowned out Sasuke's fun from the other room, and hit the volume button, and screwed his eyes shut. He wouldn't be able to sleep with the noise in his ears, but at least he wouldn't have to listen to … _that_ … anymor

The next morning, Naruto's head was in his right hand as he stared blearily at the swimming black smudges which were previously words the evening before on the page. _Once the movement was established at the turn … at the … movement … century …_

Naruto's head was spinning heavily. He felt heavy, and there was a slight ringing in his ears. The words danced and warped together and his eyelids dropped for a moment. Just for a moment … he blinked twice and forced himself to continue reading. He read each word, absorbing none of the text. With effort he commanded his eyes to look slightly to the left, the movement causing him to sigh involuntarily as he read the numbers on the small digital clock.

 _8.32_. Two hours until his first final. His plan to cram in as much as he could before then was cruelly being sabotaged by the fact that he had slept for exactly one hour and twelve minutes before his alarm shattered his brain, and that his brain thought it would be so funny to torture him with the opening few bars of 'Kung Fu Fighting' over and over … and over again.

He inhaled, noticing how the action caused his vision to swim again. He was slumped at his desk under the window, figuring the more professional position would help in his revision, but now he was wondering if moving this little show to the bed would be more comfortable. If he was comfortable, then he would be able to concentrate better. Concentration however, was definitely in short supply at the moment.

 _When the movement was established at the turn of the twentieth century, the art scene in the Asia-Pacific region was forever changed. Where once stood … the Asian … art … art and century … When the movement …_

'Kung Fu Fighting …'

 _For most critics the movement … which was at first considered a mockery of nuveau-eroticism and popular absurdism … eroticism …_

'Whoa-o-o-oa dada dada da daa da da da … Everybody was kung fu fighting …'

Naruto gasped with dry laughter. He didn't even have the energy to get frustrated. He settled for a small disapproving grunt instead as he worked his fingertips into his forehead, trying to massage the fogginess away. He gave into his rather pushy eyelids for another moment, but opened his eyes again, and stared at the page, willing his brain to at least subconsciously absorb the stupid information.

A huge red mug came into his view over his left shoulder, and then a wrist, and a forearm. Naruto smiled wryly as Sasuke placed the mug on the desk in front of him, but he didn't have the energy to pick it up. The steam floated off the murky liquid, swirling visibly into the air. Naruto gave in instantly to the coffee's deep enticing aroma and, with only a small effort willed his heavy arm, shaking from lack of sleep, to lift the mug to his lips so he could drink it.

'Make that a double,' he said, once he lowered the mug. He was kind of weirded out how out of it he sounded. 'Nah, triple,' he said, lifting the mug again and gulping the contents. The coffee was warm on the way down, and Naruto felt it all the way to his stomach. He tried to ignore the slight sensation of nausea as he assaulted his body for the first time in a long time with any kind of sustenance, and hoped that the caffeine would do its thing soon.

He rubbed his eyes; they stung and pinched a bit, and took a second to refocus afterward. He knew if he had a mirror in front him, his good self would have bright red, watering, probably puffed up, eyes.

'You look like shit,' Sasuke offered, leaning his hip on the side of the desk, wiping his palm down his grey slacks. He wasn't dressed … Naruto scoffed in reply and scratched at the back of his head. Sasuke leaned over slightly, using his fingers to turn the textbook toward him so he could read the page. He straightened and crossed his arms. 'Don't you have a final soon?'

'No,' Naruto gasped in mock surprise. 'Do I? I didn't know.' He was proud of himself as he mustered the energy to roll his shrivelled eyes slightly at his friend's observation.

Sasuke sighed and reached down to the textbook once more. His fingertips curled under the cover and he lifted his hand; the book fell shut with a dull thud. Naruto looked up at Sasuke who was looking down at the book. He was in a loose black t-shirt, and his hair was all messy and all over the place. Naruto often felt privileged that he got to see Sasuke before he got all pretty for the outside world. He often laughed at Sasuke's bed hair, but also felt comforted that Captain Perfect wasn't so perfect after all.

'You'll do fine,' he said and stood, disappearing into his bedroom.

The next few hours flew by in a caffeine fuelled blur. Naruto had no idea what type of meaningless babble he'd written down on the test paper, but was slightly reassured that he had managed to write down anything and anything was always better than nothing, right? The words had flowed quite freely, and after two hours of sitting on an uncomfortable wooden chair with his fingers cramping from squeezing the pencil so tightly as whatever incoherent crap was forever immortalised on that paper came out, and the throbbing and pounding that had snuck up on him without him realising had finally let loose in his temples and at the base of his skull, Naruto was shattered.

Naruto was of a few minds as to what to do now. He wanted to spend the afternoon worrying himself sick about what he had written on his paper, scrutinising and analysing every word and syllable until he fell a mute mess on the floor of the cafeteria. He wanted to sleep; he wanted to go home and crawl into bed and sleep until it was September. Sasuke was in class so he wouldn't be disturbed. He could close all the curtains, and turn off all the lights and just … sleep. He wanted coffee; he _needed_ coffee. He needed to stay awake because he had to prepare for another final for tomorrow afternoon. Psych one oh one. _It is a fascinating subject, Naruto. I'm sure you would enjoy it._ Naruto groaned. No. He didn't enjoy psychology, but he was too far into it now to say that to his teacher. He had to get through this semester. It was Sai's fault he was in this mess; next time, he wouldn't listen to him. He wanted to eat something fatty and greasy … no, he wanted to eat something fatty and greasy and gross in front of Sasuke so he could watch his nose screw up in disgust as he tried really hard to be as polite as possible when he told Naruto to 'fuck off and eat that poison somewhere else.'

Naruto grinned at that. Sasuke saw anything with more than two calories as poison. He'd never seen him eat a burger, never seen him touch pizza, in fact … never really seen him eat much at all. Come to think of it, when the gang was together at lunch or whatever … did Sasuke ever eat? Heh, he must, he's still alive isn't he? So he must eat something. Naruto scoffed at this, he'd never even noticed in all the time that he'd spent with Sasuke, that the guy ate like a rabbit. That is, except when Naruto was in the kitchen. Then he ate. He liked Naruto's food, but it was so rare that Naruto ever cooked that Sasuke just seemed to not eat. Ever.

So, Naruto compromised all his wants by swinging by a burger joint on his way back to the dorm, dumping the stinky little brown bag on his bed, along with the cardboard cup holder that held the prized liquid, pulling a textbook for psych theory from his shelf and started to leaf through it as he munched on the giant burger he'd practically lugged all the way back, and wait for Sasuke to get back so he could watch him falter in the doorway as the place was filled with the stench of that 'fucking heart attack waiting to happen.' Naruto grinned at the mental image. Payback for last night, buddy. You keep me up all night; I fill your living space with the stench of my nasty food. Heh. Good. _Very_ satisfying.

A sound woke Naruto up; it registered a second later as a light knock on the door. He'd been dreaming … it was about … a fox … a massacre? Naruto shook his head and rubbed his eyes. His half-eaten burger had soaked into his t-shirt making him sticky. He pulled the thing off him as another knock rapped on the door.

'Yeah … just … give me a second,' Naruto called as he shoved the burger into the bag and picked up the coffee, gulping it, not caring that it was ice-cold. His brain registered the time as his gaze fell for a second on the clock on the desk. _9.27_. He stumbled to the door and opened it a crack to see who was waking him up. He swung it open fully and stumbled back into the lounge area, slumping on the couch with a tired groan. He stretched and yawned as his visitor closed the door behind him.

'Where were you?' Sai asked, his tone lightly accusing. 'When you didn't show up, I thought I'd come looking for you.' Naruto yawned again. He noticed the heavy pack on Sai's back, and the four large books in his arms.

'What're you going on about?'

'We were … you asked me,' Sai said calmly. 'Last night, remember?'

Naruto sat up, for the first time all day, fully awake and alert. He'd been hungry, and since Sasuke was out and all, he'd texted Sai …

'Argh, sorry,' Naruto said, rubbing his neck as Sai sat down next to him. 'I was completely bushed after my exam this morning … I totally forgot. Sorry.'

Sai's eyes crinkled as his smile deepened. 'I thought as much. It's okay, just something to look forward to for next time. And,' he added, placing the pack on the floor and the books on the coffee table, 'I brought the revision here for you.'

Naruto groaned and rubbed his eyes. The Pysch final … 'Thanks.'

'You're welcome, Naruto.'

For a Pysch major, Sai was a bit weird. He was so fascinated with people, that sometimes his urge to observe the 'daily workings of humanity' came off more like creeping on people. But if Naruto wasn't used to his quietly deranged obsession with the inner workings of the mind by now, he would never be. The thought made him grin. Sai was insane. Well, not insane maybe but definitely left of centre when it came to his passion. His personality came out of a text book, and he was always relaying 'textbook cases' as he observed practical examples of what he read. Naruto didn't know if Sai knew his methods were a bit weird to other people, or just didn't care. At the height of his weirdness, he used to follow people unashamed, writing away on his notepad. The same notepad peeked out of his pants pocket at this very moment. Naruto grinned again.

Sai leaned over to Naruto; it was his usual sign that he wanted to say something important. Naruto leaned closer to him so Sai knew he was listening. 'I was reading something interesting this morning about body language … such a fascinating subject … you can tell what someone is thinking by the position of their body parts, their gestures and their expressions. I was reading that if the feet point toward someone in the room, then the person likes that person.' Sai's eyes hovered on Naruto's feet, which at that moment were perched on the back of the couch near Sai's face forming a vector. 'I see that your feet are –'

'Would you like a drink or something?' Naruto asked. The room span as he stood too quickly from the couch. He went to the fridge. All they had was peach iced tea. The closest thing to soda Sasuke would allow in his fridge. Naruto grinned at the memory of triumphantly finding something Sasuke would drink other than green tea or water. It was still tea, but it was cold and had sugar in it. Oh no. Sugar. _Now you don't have to look like such a freak … Why am I a freak just because I don't want to subject my body to all that crap? Because you are a freak, Sasuke. Drink the damn stuff, would ya?_ An involuntary puff of laughter escaped from Naruto's mouth as he took two cans from the fridge, and returning to the couch, tossed one to Sai.

'Sorry, it's all we have.'

Sai opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself and smiled instead, opening the can and tasting the tea.

'Gross, huh?' Naruto said gulping the shit, hoping it didn't touch his tongue on the way down or cause any permanent damage on the way through. 'Aaahh,' he said, crushing the can in his fist and tossing it by his feet. Sai took a second sip.

'It's … not very nice. No.'

Naruto laughed. 'Yeah, I know, right? But my petal roommate likes it, so there you go.'

Sai's eyebrows twitched into a furrow, but he smiled again and took another sip. He looked like he was trying to figure out what to do with the two-thirds full can. He placed it on the coffee table.

'Shall we then?' Sai asked and opened one of the books he had brought with him. Naruto picked up a notepad which he had stashed under the couch, and searched around for a pen. He knew there was one …

'Scuse…' he said, waffling around in the cushions under and around Sai. He leaned right over the top of him, his hand steadying himself on the back of the couch behind Sai's shoulder as he pulled the pen from under the arm of the couch. He straightened holding up the pen triumphantly.

'Nice,' he said, clicking the end a few times almost enthusiastically. 'Okay, shoot.' Sai's gaze ripped from Naruto, falling to the page open in his lap.

'Okay, chapter twelve, social and cultural control …'

An hour later, Naruto had found his second wind. He was furiously underlining pieces which were important from his own notes, ready to archive them for easy reference. He pulled the pad of sticky notes out from under his butt, and scribbled a title reference on one of the bright pieces of paper. He stuck it to the page, and continued scanning his references.

'Here's another one …' Sai said, tapping a paragraph in a small textbook. 'Sports and the implications of control? Would you like me to –'

'Sure,' Naruto said as he highlighted one particularly brilliant line he was going to use tomorrow. 'Freudian …' he mumbled to himself as he spelt out the words on his sticky note. Sai moved closer, their arms brushed against each other. Naruto stuck the sticky note to the page and continued scanning.

His vision was invaded by a page of the textbook Sai was holding. A finger tapped on another paragraph Naruto barely took any notice of. He nodded anyway, and Sai dog-eared the page for Naruto to go over when he was ready. Naruto found a particularly juicy (and relevant) piece of info, but his heart sank as he realised it went from the middle of the page he was on, all the way over to the second next page. He cursed the fact that you couldn't just take the books into Psych exams and started writing.

Sai yawned, bringing his fingers up to cover his mouth. He leaned his head on Naruto's shoulder and pressed his torso into his arm, and closed his eyes. Naruto continued writing, concentrating on the personality profiles of those who were prone to _spotlighting_.

'Well, totally not Sasuke,' Naruto mumbled as he wrote down a list of personality points from the profile. He shifted slightly in his seat under Sai's weight, causing him to open his eyes. He blinked a few times and yawned again.

'Naruto …'

Naruto yawned and flicked his wrist a few times trying to alleviate the cramp from writing so much.

'Go back to sleep,' Naruto mumbled in Sai's ear, briefly resting his head against his. 'It's cool. I've got this.' He didn't even falter when he felt warm fingers on the back of his neck, massaging up into his hair. Didn't even react when he felt soft lips brush against his neck … _Spotlight theory … the prolification for an individual to expect attention to be … to be … and socially …_ A quiet, involuntary groan escaped his throat as Sai's tongue softly trailed up behind his ear.

 _Shit, I need you …_ Naruto closed his eyes as the memories from last time invaded his concentration. _Really? Show me …_

'I was just …'

The tone of his voice was somewhere between a whisper and a purr. Naruto opened his eyes, unable to ignore that tone. It was _that_ tone … the one … that … Sai's eyes, usually friendly and light to everyone else, were staring holes into Naruto's skull. They shone from the fluorescence of the kitchen's light. His eyebrows furrowed again and his eyes narrowed slightly as his lips tightened. He turned his body to Naruto who was … starting to react … a bit … as Sai trailed his palm up his leg.

If Sasuke walked in right now …

'I really need to … get this done … before …'

Sai was sucking his neck as he stroked Naruto's thigh.

It had been awhile; a long while since … but Naruto liked it. He didn't know what it was about the weird Pysch major, didn't know if it was the fact that it was only him that got to see this side of him. He didn't know if it was the fact that it was only him that actually brought this side out in him in the first place. All he knew at that point was those piercing dark eyes were blinking at him … again … after all this time … and his warm slow breaths were puffing against Naruto's cheek … again … after all this time.

Sai's eyes closed as he sighed; Naruto realised he was stroking Sai's arm with his thumb.

'Hi,' Naruto said, hooking a finger in Sai's collar and pulling him closer. He had an overwhelming urge to smile as Sai leaned over, tilting his head to the side. The tip of his tongue flitted over his lips as he stared into Naruto's eyes. Sai tried to stifle a giggle as Naruto pulled him into his lap and he wrapped his arms loosely around Naruto's neck.

'I should be studying,' Naruto accused lightly as Sai leaned into him, straddled over his legs. Sai's lips were warm … soft … he tasted of strawberries and salt … Naruto groaned as Sai's fingertips pressed into the flesh between his shoulder blades. His lips parted and Naruto slipped his tongue into Sai's willing mouth. Sai gasped as Naruto's fingers found the small of his back, trailing down, teasing below the hem of his pants.

'I just …' Sai started against Naruto's lips, but he was interrupted as Naruto engulfed his lips, kissing him roughly.

A familiar sound registered in Naruto's mind as he helplessly sucked and licked at Sai's lips. An invasive, quiet metallic sound … like the sound of … a lock? A lock … Shit …

Naruto slowed; Sai groaned from the sudden lack of contact. He tightened his hold around Naruto's neck, pressing into his crotch. Naruto groaned involuntarily from the sudden stimulation as he slowly raised his gaze over Sai's shoulder.

Sai sucked and licked and nibbled at Naruto's neck, sending pleasant shivers through Naruto's body, but Naruto was frozen. Sasuke's dark eyes were narrowed and unreadable, his lip was curled slightly as he watched the scene before him. Naruto, in his tired and over stimulated state just … couldn't … he tried smiling? … at Sasuke? But then he groaned as he sort of lost control a little bit as Sai found his tender spot, sucking vigorously. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly and his lips parted as his eyebrow twitched. He turned and went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

'Sai …' Naruto whispered, helplessly trying to resist, helplessly trying to gently push Sai away. 'Come on …'

Sai pulled back, cocked his head to the side. His eyes shone with need, sparkling with …

'Come on, this is serious. I'm gonna fail …'

After a moment, and a lot of panting, Sai smiled. He brushed his lips over Naruto's forehead and removed himself from his lap. 'Another time?'

Naruto nodded and rubbed the back of his head. 'Yeah, sure. Another time,' he promised. 'I just gotta get this done, or I'm screwed, you know?'

Sai nodded. 'Yes, we don't want you failing.'

Naruto picked up his current pile of notes which had scattered to the floor, feeling a bit sick from the weird upside down angle. He straightened as Sai got up off the couch.

'Where are you going?'

The smile never left Sai's face. 'You need to concentrate. I will see you soon.'

'No, you don't have to leave. Stay. I can do with the company.'

A strange light flitted through Sai's eyes; his gaze lowered to Naruto's feet and raised back to his face as the smile crinkled in his eyes.

'I will see you later, Naruto.'

He left and Naruto slumped back against the couch. Sometimes … just sometimes … he wished … he groaned and scrubbed his eyes vigorously. He glanced at the clock. _11.54_. He groaned again. The final was at eight in the morning. That was like … he counted on his fingers and groaned again. Eight hours and he had barely remembered anything. He either needed to sleep, or get more coffee into him.

He went to the kitchen and filled the kettle, wondering how many brilliant geniuses had done exams on zero sleep? Probably heaps, like loads of them. If it was good enough for them it was good enough for …

'Hey,' Naruto said as he turned; jumping slightly as he realised Sasuke was behind him, in his usual sleeping get up, holding a mug and a teabag. He dropped the teabag into the mug and moved toward the counter. Naruto stepped out of the way as Sasuke went to the drawer for a spoon. When the kettle boiled he poured hot water into his mug first and then into Naruto's.

'The place stinks of grease,' Sasuke said and headed out of the kitchen.

'Hey, Sasuke …' Naruto started, but his bedroom door was already closed behind him. He really was sorry that Sasuke had seen that back there. Sasuke was such a private person, and public shows of affection, and by 'public' Sasuke usually categorised as anything outside the bedroom, made him uncomfortable. He didn't want to make Sasuke uncomfortable or anything, he really should have taken it to the bedroom, knowing Sasuke would have come back, but he hadn't been thinking. Knowing Sasuke, he'd be traumatised for weeks now …

Naruto had to think of a way to make it up to him. He was pretty handy in the kitchen. Maybe a plate of pancakes in the morning? And by pancakes he meant one of those weird ass white omelette things Sasuke liked to eat so much. Naruto grinned at the image of Sasuke cutting into the poofy white flat round and the way he so delicately munched on it. Sometimes he would add salt and pepper … he was such a rebel.

But Naruto deflated slightly. He wouldn't have time in the morning. Between cramming in like an hour's sleep, and cramming at all … he grimaced. He was sorry though …

Naruto tore the corner of a sheet of paper from his notepad and scribbled a quick message on it, his vision and coordination getting fuzzier by the second. He needed to sleep. Now. Or he wouldn't function at all in the morning. He read the slurring words, and satisfied, slipped it under Sasuke's door. He then stumbled the five steps to his own bed and flopped, face first on the covers.


	2. Chapter 2

After his Pysch final was over, Naruto ran from the room. He didn't stop running. He just kept going. He ran as fast and as hard as he could manage on five cups of coffee, no sleep and an adrenal rush brought on from the fact that he was pretty sure he had just failed a test worth forty percent. That's okay, he could still bring it up by the end of next semester, but right now, he was screwed. There was nothing he could do about it; nothing at all that would change the fact that he had just cocked up balls deep in there. He hadn't prepared enough; hadn't woken up until seven and hadn't had time to do anything but throw a shirt on, which he discovered as he was entering the room, was on inside out, and fling it to the lecture theatre.

He was shattered again, he was incoherent and uncoordinated, and reality felt like it would jump up and swallow him whole. He allowed himself exactly ten seconds to panic about failing, before he rushed back to the dorm room, desperate to sleep. He couldn't think of anything but sleep. So, the shirt he had found on the floor that morning was promptly tossed back to its rightful place and Naruto flopped on the bed, out almost instantly.

It was night when he woke up suddenly from a weird dream. He couldn't remember the dream exactly, he couldn't recall any of the images, but he remembered the feelings. He was alone, but there were others, but they didn't stay. He always ended up alone in the dream and it tore his heart to shreds, filling the fissures with such pain and hopelessness that he didn't see a way out of the darkness, leaving him with only one choice. But he always woke up just as he stepped off the cliff. He never made it to the bottom. The feeling of falling, or outside physical forces like his phone, or someone calling him, always made him bolt awake, covered in sweat and panting from the quick pounding in his chest. He always grabbed at his heart, his reassurance that he was, actually, still in the land of the living.

Naruto scrubbed at his eyes and shook his head and yawned. He hated those dreams, he always felt them afterward and even though he knew they were dreams and knew they couldn't actually ever come true, they always hung around long after he had woken up and couldn't shake the very real feelings that latched on and wouldn't let go. He sat in bed for a while assessing if he'd had enough sleep and was able to get up and make a coffee. His head was heavy, and his eyes were bleary, and his arms felt like they weighed a ton, but he was in a much better state than before. So, he threw off the covers, taking a quick detour to the bathroom before heading into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

He wasn't alone. He had his friends and his guardian and his extended family. He was surrounded by awesome caring people. Yeah, he'd seriously cut an arm off for any one of them. He wasn't alone. He had been, once, but that was a long time ago, and he was over it. It didn't shape who he was now; he couldn't blame his shitty studying skills and bad time management on an incident that happened ages ago. He laughed; the sound was a harsh bark and he rubbed the back of his head until his scalp warmed under his fingers. It didn't make him who he was; it wasn't his fault his parents were gone. He had faced that adversity and had survived. That's all that mattered, case closed.

He poured hot water into his mug and the kitchen was instantly filled with that aroma; he would propose and marry that fucking smell if he could. He would, but … he gulped the coffee and it was gone, so he made another one. He went to pour more of the wonderful elixir down his throat but jumped out of his skin as a hand and a piece of paper came into his view from behind him. The coffee, intended for his mouth ended up dripping down his chin and chest as he stood there, trying to catch his breath.

'Fuck's sake,' he said, trying to get a grip on his heart which was now thumping, still holding the emptied mug. 'Don't fucking do that.'

Sasuke smirked at Naruto, taking in the entire thing. The grey cotton t-shirt was wrecked; soaked through, the stripy pyjama bottoms had fared no better. Naruto wiped his face with his wet, sticky hand.

'Can you pass a cloth, thanks,' he gritted, holding out a hand. Sasuke handed one over and Naruto wiped his face and neck. He couldn't take the cold wetness of the top so ripped it off, tossing it on the counter. He wiped the coffee off his skin the best he could, the memory of the sensation tricking his brain into thinking he was still cold and wet. He tossed the cloth on the floor and wiped up the coffee off the tiles, tossing it at Sasuke before making his way out of the kitchen to find drier more coffee free clothes. He came back a minute later, changed and dry, but still slightly sticky. 'What. The. Hell?' He shot an overly questioning glare at Sasuke.

'You're a fucking idiot, Naruto,' he said and slapped the piece of paper into Naruto's chest. Naruto caught it as it fluttered toward the floor. He squinted at the piece of paper, barely registering … remembering … last night. He cringed as he read it.

 _I know that kind of thing makes you squirm. I'll behave from now on. Promise. Make it up to you? Any way you want? Don't hate me only herm._

'Herm?' Naruto mused, squinting at the piece of paper. Yeah, that's what it said. 'Only herm.' He laughed so hard he couldn't breathe for a minute.

'Don't choke, you moron,' Sasuke said, handing Naruto his mug. 'Breathe.'

Naruto smacked his chest for a second, kick starting his lungs again. 'Herm … wow …'

Sasuke watched him coolly from over the top of his own mug. He put it down on the counter and huffed. He started doing that thing with his bottom lip that he does when something's on his mind. He twirled and swiped at his bottom lip, squishing it in his fingers. 'You know, Naruto …'

Naruto shook his head. 'Nah, I'm sorry, man. I know you don't like it when … er … you know. And, yeah, won't happen again.'

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he frowned slightly. 'Of course, it's going to happen again,' he flicked a glance at Naruto before studying the very interesting wisps of the marble. 'I'm not four, you know. I can handle … I was just surprised, okay.'

'What? That I was getting some?' Naruto grinned and flicked his fingers through his hair. He gulped his fresh coffee. 'Thanks for the vote of confidence.'

Sasuke smirked, circling a finger slowly on the marble. 'It's cool, okay. I was just …' he shook his head. 'Do whatever you want. Obviously.'

'Do _who_ ever I want?' Naruto grinned.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. 'Why are we friends?' he muttered.

Naruto didn't miss the weird look in his eye as he turned away and headed out the door. Yeah, he wasn't fooling anyone, he could say he didn't care, but he was still a fucking prude. Naruto followed Sasuke into the lounge and was devastated that he was taking up the couch.

'Scooch up,' he said and shoved Sasuke to the left-hand side of the couch. He then stretched out as much as he could; his right leg hung over the edge while his left leg was wedged behind Sasuke's back. Sasuke glared at him; making Naruto grin. 'I'm tired. I need to be horizontal.' This only made Sasuke glare more as Naruto proceeded to flick through the channels.

'Your bedroom is in there,' Sasuke growled pointing a slender finger over his opposite shoulder.

'Yeah, the couch is more comfortable,' Naruto said, stretching his arms up over his head. He realised he was grinning. 'You know, we haven't done this in a while. Just hung out like this.'

'Well, don't get used to it, I have to go in a bit.'

Naruto was kind of surprised by the involuntary reaction his brain had to this. He was kind of … down? About it. Didn't know why.

'Oh. Cool. Sure,' Naruto said and scratched the back of his neck. 'Can you order a pizza before you go? I have no cash.'

Sasuke just stared at him, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. 'Again. Why are we friends?'

Naruto shrugged and flicked through a few more channels, landing on some travel show. He dropped the remote on his chest. Sasuke huffed. He leaned over the top of Naruto's bent knee and reached for the remote. Naruto grabbed it first, Sasuke reached for it, Naruto pulled it out of his reach.

'Give it to me.'

Naruto shook his head. Every time Sasuke reached for the remote, Naruto pulled it out of reach. Sasuke leaned over further until Naruto held the remote straight up over his head and Sasuke was stuck over the top of him. Naruto grinned and suddenly dropped his knee. Sasuke fell smack dab on top of Naruto. Naruto laughed, but then gasped as Sasuke's jaw tightened and he roughly punched Naruto, knocking the wind out of him.

'Argh, shit, Sasuke,' Naruto groaned, rubbing his gut as Sasuke straightened back into sitting. Naruto realised he was still grinning from the prank.

'Moron,' Sasuke grumbled. Naruto's grin widened as he tossed the remote in Sasuke's lap. Sasuke turned on the news. 'I just want - '

'To fill your head with everything's that's wrong with the world? Sasuke, come on.'

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the TV, turning it up slightly. Naruto poked him in the shoulder with his big toe.

'How about that pizza?'

Sasuke ignored him, concentrating on the news. Naruto sat up and crossed his legs, grinning at the side of Sasuke's head. The TV's blue glow flashed and pulsed, reflecting in Sasuke's eyes. Naruto leaned forward.

'How about I cook?'

Sasuke's eyes snapped to Naruto's. His eyes narrowed, and his lips pouted thoughtfully.

'Come on, I haven't cooked in ages.'

'I thought you were tired.' Sasuke turned back to the TV. Naruto shrugged.

'I'm also starving and that trumps tiredness.' He grinned remembering the first time he cooked. _Do you like it? Come on. Tell me. Come on._ 'But I won't, unless you want me to.' His grin widened as he could see Sasuke thinking about it. _It's really …_ 'Come on, say the words. Say "please Naruto wow me with your amazingly talented culinary skills so that I can have another one of those weird taste orgasms where I screw up my face and can't stop eating".' Naruto laughed. _Oh my god, where the hell did you learn to do this?_ Naruto grinned, remembering Sasuke's face.

'Okay,' Sasuke conceded. 'Can I watch the news now?'

'Risotto!' Naruto declared and jumped up off the couch.

Thirty minutes later, Sasuke wandered into the kitchen enticed by the rich aroma's floating through the dorm. Naruto slowly stirred a large pot of bubbling rice as his eyes scanned the page of the textbook open near the stovetop. Sasuke took in the scents of the food as he leaned against the counter opposite Naruto.

'Almost ready,' Naruto mumbled as he concentrated on the textbook.

'I have to go soon.'

Naruto nodded, his attention now torn in three between the pot, the book and Sasuke. 'I know, but good things can't be rushed.' He flashed a grin at Sasuke. After a moment a can of peach tea slid into Naruto's field of vision. He shook his head absently as he continued to read and stir.

'You bought it,' Sasuke said.

'For you,' Naruto said, his eyes lifting from his textbook to his best friend and back.

'What do you want then?'

Naruto shrugged and continued stirring and reading. Without turning his attention away from the textbook, he turned the stove down and continued stirring. Sasuke busied himself by grabbing some plates from the cupboard. Unfortunately, the cutlery was stuck in the drawer Naruto was standing in front of. Naruto stepped aside as Sasuke's hand brushed against his side in apology as he opened the drawer and grabbed some forks and spoons. Naruto pulled an oversized spoon from the drawer, closing it with his hip.

He pulled a blob from the pot and licked it off the spoon. It was basically perfect. He grabbed another blob and thrust it at Sasuke's mouth.

'Taste it,' Naruto said. Sasuke frowned, but grabbed the spoon, licking the blob off. 'Need anything?' Sasuke licked his lips, he then pulled that face. The one that said, 'my tastebuds are on fire and this shit is good.' Naruto grinned as he watched Sasuke savour the taste.

Sasuke shook his head and Naruto turned off the stove. He plopped two decent portions into the bowls and slid one across the counter to Sasuke. It was his favourite, and Naruto kind of made it to apologise for giving him the squirms yesterday and kind of made it just because he could. Sasuke dipped his fork into it again and took another mouthful, pulling the same face.

Naruto devoured his own bowl, barely tasting it, he was starving so much. Sasuke swirled his fork around in the risotto before taking another mouthful. He checked the time on his phone, a pained expression crossing his face as he closed his eyes and shook his head once.

'Take it with you,' Naruto suggested. He pulled a container from under the stove and plopped a portion into it. 'You gotta eat. So …' he shrugged and held out the container. Sasuke looked from the bowl in front of him to the container. Naruto dipped his used fork into the pot and took another giant mouthful. He grinned, knowing Sasuke was trying so hard to ignore what he had just done. Sasuke lowered his head and continued eating.

'It's okay, they can wait.'

Naruto slid the container across to Sasuke. 'Take it anyway.'

Sasuke shook his head. 'I can't eat all that.'

'Sure you can,' Naruto said and slid the container into the rim of the bowl. He started cleaning up the mess he'd made, rewrapping food and putting it in the freezer. He swiped a cloth over counters and stoves and shoved used utensils and equipment in the sink. Naruto nodded, satisfied. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, my head's going for it and if I don't lie down, I'll fall down, so I'll be in here,' Naruto and gestured toward the lounge. Sasuke looked up at him as he passed by.

'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.'

Sasuke frowned. 'You sure?'

'Yeah,' Naruto said. 'I'm good. I'm going to pass out on the couch and hopefully by the time I wake up the jackhammer in my head has pissed off. That's all.' He smiled and flopped on the couch. In fact, he had this weird feeling he was asleep before he even hit the couch.

Naruto pulled the blanket up over his head and stretched and yawned. Blanket? He grinned, must have got it in his sleep or something, didn't remember falling asleep with one. The reason he was awake vibrated again in his pocket. The insistent vibration had broken his dreams and dragged him back to consciousness. Naruto squinted at the message, a wide grin stretching over his lips. Sakura. 'Ichiraku for lunch at 1?'

Naruto checked the time. _11.49_. Doable. He threw the blanket off and tossed his legs over the side of the couch, scrubbing at his face vigorously. He yawned and stretched again, taking stock of his physical condition. He could see. Good. He didn't feel like he was made of lead. Good. Headache. Annoying, but okay; coffee would fix that. He inhaled and breathed out slowly, heading to the bathroom. He hadn't seen Sakura all semester; her schedule was crazy, and they'd hung out like twice in four months. Not because they didn't want to, they stayed in contact through calls and whatever, but they hadn't actually seen each other for that long, and yeah, Naruto missed her.

He took a shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before making a coffee. He opened the sliding door to the balcony and stood out there, stretching luxuriously taking in the late morning air which refreshed his stuffy lungs. He realised, other than going to his exams and heading out for an odd bite at an odd café, he'd spent a fair portion of the month inside. Low cloud hung over the mountains across the sports fields below. Naruto was the outdoorsy type and appreciated just how fucking beautiful the scenery before him was.

He looked down over the sports fields. A team of some sort, baseball maybe, filed out to the centre of one of the fields. There red and white uniforms contrasted brilliantly against the bright green of the field. Naruto was so engrossed with watching the tiny players that he didn't notice as someone approached him. The guy leaned on the railing next to Naruto. He was holding a full mug; a very familiar, orange mug.

'Hi.' His eyes crinkled as he smiled. Sai did that; it was just one of those things that got Naruto going. Naruto smiled back and sipped at his coffee; half a mug left, and it was going cold.

Naruto had seen this one before; Sasuke's favourite. He had silver hair and an amused glint in his eye. He was tall, wore edgy clothes like skin tight skivvies under leather jackets and tight jeans that showed off his reasons for being male. Naruto blinked, mentally snapping out of it. Naruto hadn't seen anyone else around for a bit, and this guy seemed to have become a permanent fixture around the place. Naruto smiled; good for Sasuke, maybe now he'd pull that stick out of his ass and relax some.

'Nice out here today,' the guy said. Naruto nodded and smiled.

'Yeah.'

'Aren't you cold?' The guy cocked his head at Naruto. Naruto realised he was still wearing only a towel. He shook his head.

'Nope.'

The guy nodded; bringing the mug to his lips.

'You and Sasuke seem to be getting on alright?'

The guy nodded again, eyebrows raising. 'He's …' his eyes crinkled again as he scratched his scalp. Naruto didn't know what it was, couldn't quite place what the weird feeling was that suddenlypulsed through him and took over his brain, especially the parts of the brain responsible for speech.

'Yeah, well. Hurt him, and you die.' He instantly regretted it. Okay, so yeah, Sasuke was like his brother, but …

'Excuse me?' The crinkle around the guy's eye was replaced by a dark challenging glint. 'What was that?'

Naruto challenged right back. It would be easier to get along with the guy, it would make life so much easier. But, Naruto had already fired the first shot, and he wasn't a quitter. 'You heard me. I'm just looking out for the idiot. He gets,' Naruto searched for the right word, 'sensitive,' he decided on and took a gulp of his coffee.'Just saying,' Naruto said and smiled, slapping the guy on the back. The guy laughed uncertainly but decided to let it go.

'I guess that's what friends are for,' he said off-handed, causing something to jolt in Naruto's chest. What was wrong with him? Why was he all of a sudden so protective over the bastard? Sasuke was more than capable of looking after himself. More than capable of handling his own life. He didn't need Naruto to fight his battles for him.

'Forget I said anything,' Naruto said, gulping the dregs of his coffee and leaving the guy on the balcony. He threw his mug in the sink, noting the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, and headed to his room to put some clothes on, glancing at the clock on the way through. _12.37._

He'd overestimated how long it would take to get across campus and stroll three blocks. Naruto arrived at Ichiraku ten minutes late. He scanned the busy noodle place for the distinctive pink hair, spotting it at a small table close to the central bar. A grin broke over Naruto's face as he rushed over to the table, scooping Sakura up in a huge hug. He even spun her around slightly.

'Naruto,' she gasped. 'I can't breathe.' Naruto sniggered as he let her go. She'd gone a bit shiny in the cheeks and her hair was a bit haywire. She tried to tame the pink strands, smoothing them with her hands as she cleared her throat. Her clear green eyes played over Naruto's face as she smiled. She held out her arms and walked forward. Naruto hugged her tightly again, grunting in appreciation.

'Yeah, yeah, you can let go now, you big knucklehead,' Sakura laughed. 'People are staring,' she added in a hiss. Naruto let go and rubbed the back of his head as he noticed the eyes looking in their direction. Sakura pulled him down to the table by tugging on his arm. 'I know. I've missed your crazy self too, you know.'

'I've been dying all semester,' Naruto whined. 'Sasuke's killing me.'

Sakura cocked an eyebrow and sipped at her large cup of something. Red liquid crawled up the almost opaque straw. 'Really? How so?'

Naruto shook his head. 'Just being his cheery self. All semester.' Naruto sighed. 'The guy's really getting on my nerves.'

Sakura's brow furrowed in confusion as she took another sip of the red liquid. Naruto read through the menu, but he already knew what he wanted. He always got the pork ramen. Always. No question. 'I already ordered,' Sakura said. 'But I didn't order you a drink, but I guess you want – '

'Can I have a large coffee?' Naruto asked the guy with the pad when he approached the table. 'Milk on the side. Thanks,' Naruto said with a grin. The guy wrote it down and waited.

'Oh, I've already ordered for us,' Sakura repeated to the guy. He nodded and headed off to the coffee machine. 'What's up with Sasuke?' Sakura really looked confused. 'I mean, I saw him the other day. He seemed actually a lot more animated than I've seen him in a long time. He almost looked happy,' she grinned. 'I know right?' she added at Naruto's expression. 'I nearly died of shock.'

'He's just being a dick, is all,' Naruto said. He lifted his shirt and presented his torso to Sakura. 'Look what he did to me.' The giant black bruise where Sasuke had punched him looked more painful than it was; Naruto was just fishing for sympathy. He grinned and pulled his shirt down.

'Naruto …' Sakura began, staring where Naruto's naked abs had been a second before. She shook her head, her eyes refocussing. 'Why'd he do that?'

'I don't know! Ask him!' Naruto complained loudly. 'He's just being a dick. He's all moody, and stiff, and angry. And hostile,' Naruto added, counting them off on his fingers. 'Did I say moody? The only time he seems to act like a human being is when he's with … uh …' Naruto tried desperately to remember the guy's name. If he was going to be a permanent fixture, Naruto should at least remember the guy's name.

'Kakashi?' Sakura offered and took another sip of her drink. The guy came back and placed Naruto's coffee in front of him. There was also a small packet of sugar. Naruto grinned; they remembered even when he didn't.

'Right. Kakashi.' Naruto stirred the sugar into his coffee and dashed milk into the mug, stirring it with his finger. He sucked the liquid off his finger and gulped the coffee, ignoring the disgusted look from Sakura. 'It's like when he's with that guy, he melts into mush, but becomes all stiff and frozen when I'm there. I don't get it.' Naruto took another gulp. 'I mean sure … that guy's hot and all – '

'Naruto!'

'What?' Naruto protested against Sakura's disapproving glare. 'He is. _Really_ is,' Naruto grinned. 'So, what's the bastard's problem? I didn't do anything.'

'Really?' Sakura asked. Her tone was slightly accusing, slightly knowing. 'Maybe threatening Kakashi would put Sasuke in a bad mood? Just maybe,' she added with a glint in her eye.

'Hey, I haven't seen Sasuke since then. This was from … hey,' Naruto added as it dawned on him. 'How'd you even know about that?'

'Kakashi told me,' Sakura said off-handed, taking yet another sip of her drink. The food arrived, and Naruto drank in the deep aroma of his favourite ramen. He snapped his chopsticks and bowed to Sakura, diving in without hesitation. They were as good as ever. They were always good, and before Naruto knew it, his bowl was half empty. Sakura shook her head slightly in amazement, picking up a clump of tiny mushrooms and biting into them.

'Anyway, I was just looking out for Sasuke, you know,' Naruto said. 'It's what …' friends do. He remembered what the guy had said to him. He finished with a shrug.

'It is,' Sakura agreed. 'You're just worried about him, I guess. But, that's no excuse, Naruto. You can't go around threatening to kill people. Kakashi hasn't told Sasuke, because he doesn't want to cause a rift between you guys.'

Naruto snorted. 'Pfft, sure.'

'Naruto, Kakashi's a good guy. It really hurt him that you would think he would rip Sasuke's heart out, you know. You should apologise to him.'

'He was using my mug!' Naruto blurted. He hadn't even thought about it since, but yeah, there it was. The guy had his dirty punk mouth all over Naruto's special mug. Sakura actually gaped a little bit.

'Really?'

Naruto scrubbed his face and scratched the back of his head. 'I kinda lost it. I didn't mean to say all that stuff. It just kind of came out.'

Sakura's face softened in an amused smile and she tapped Naruto on the back of the hand. 'You're shocking. All this over a mug?'

'It's my mug,' Naruto growled. 'Off limits. Mine. Just because I don't use it all the time, doesn't mean other people can touch it. It's mine.'

'Like Sasuke?'

Naruto spluttered into the bottom of his ramen bowl, choking on a small chunk of pork hiding in the last of the broth. He kept the bowl up, hiding the rising color from Sakura.

' _What_?' he asked, bemused and confused all at the same time. 'You're crazy,' he choked out. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

'Naruto,' Sakura said, hooking a slender finger over the rim of the bowl. She lowered it to the table. Sakura's lips were curled in a small smile. It was an annoying expression. She looked smug, like she knew everything. 'It's okay. I won't tell anyone.'

Naruto's heartbeat quickened, and he was suddenly having trouble breathing. He knew he was bright red, he knew he was kind of sweating a bit. He knew his hands were clammy and his jaw was tight, and he knew he was blinking a lot and he knew Sakura could see all of this as she sat there opposite with that weird smile on her face.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' he gasped. 'You're crazy.' He said and slumped his head on his forearms, trying to steady his breathing. She was crazy. She had flown way off the handle this time. The smile melted away, and she looked at Naruto with those clear green eyes. She rested cool fingertips on the back of his hand and he had to fight with every fibre of his being not to pull away.

'Am I crazy?'

Sasuke was his best friend. Had always been his best friend; more like a brother. They were close, knew everything about each other. Shared baths as kids, shared friends and food and time. They'd grown up together, grown apart, grown back together, fought, bickered, cried, supported, laughed. He was like his brother. They looked out for each other, what was wrong with that? Brothers. Nothing more. She was crazy. A harsh snort of laughter came out. No way. Not even close. Sakura was nuts.

'Naruto, are you alright?'

Naruto couldn't form words, couldn't get his voice to work. His heart was hammering in his throat. He registered the vibration of his phone. Once. Twice. He slapped his hand to his back pocket. Three times the phone vibrated. Good timing. The fucking best. Whoever was his saviour from Sakura was getting free takeout for a month.

'Naruto – '

'I'm good. Yeah. Good.' He stood, taking his phone from his pocket. He read the message four times before it sunk in. Sai. The Library. Cool.

'Naruto,' Sakura growled firmly. 'What's wrong with you?'

Naruto grinned at her, scratching at the back of his head. 'Nothing. Promise.' He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek, rendering her shocked for a moment, before she squeezed his wrist, giving him a stern look. 'Thanks for lunch! You're still crazy!' He put his phone back in his pocket and headed out of Ichiraku in the direction of the library. He was up to the second floor without realising he'd covered the campus in less than fifteen minutes. He grinned when he saw Sai, sitting in a chair at a small coffee table with his back to Naruto. Naruto texted him, told him to look behind him.

Sai took out his phone. He turned in his seat, and smiled at Naruto, his eyes crinkling up as he waved. Naruto couldn't help it. He had the sudden urge to pull Sai up by the collar and kiss him. He wanted to feel Sai melt in his arms, he wanted to feel his lips and tongue mirror his. He wanted Sai to squeeze and pull his hair and lean against him and feel the warmth from his body.

After a minute of this, Sai gently pressed his palm into Naruto's chest. Naruto didn't want to stop, but Sai was insistent. 'Is everything alright?' A half frown replaced Sai's usual smile. 'You're not normally so - '

'I fucking need you,' he whispered and savoured in the shiver he got from the guy. Sai's fingers tightened on Naruto's arm. Naruto pulled back, and there it was. That look. He should really call it "his" look, because he'd never seen a guy look at another guy like that. Sasuke didn't even look at Kakashi like that.


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later, in Naruto's bedroom Sai was lying draped half over Naruto, trailing a finger over Naruto's chest, and Naruto was almost drifting off. The low, steady rhythm of Sai's breathing wasn't helping the situation and Naruto's eyes slowly closed. Sai's fingertips circled Naruto's stomach, tickling him. He brushed his lips over Naruto's shoulder.

'You were going to tell me something back there.' Naruto's fingers were stroking through Sai's hair.

'I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come on a research session,' Sai said. 'I want to do some practical observation for a study, now that I've finished with theory for my body language module.'

'Body language,' Naruto mumbled, cursing that his brain wasn't cooperating. 'You mean the feet thing?'

Sai smiled against Naruto's chest and repositioned himself into a more comfortable spot. 'Yes, the "feet thing". Can I use your shower?'

Naruto nodded, barely comprehending what Sai was saying. Sai kissed Naruto's chest and got up, leaving Naruto a lot colder than he was a second ago. Naruto drifted off, waking only when Sai re-entered and laid down beside him smelling like Sasuke's body wash. Oh shit … he touched … that was one of the rules, one of the iron-clad, non-negotiable rules. No one touches Sasuke's products, especially not Naruto's guests. He was going to flip. Naruto blinked and absently stroked Sai's back. He could smell Sasuke all over Sai.

'I can pick you up. The club isn't in the campus district. So, I can come get you and bring you home when we're done? If you like?' Sai said.

Club? 'Are you asking me out? Because I think we're a bit beyond that at this point.'

Sai laughed; it made Naruto smile. 'No. I've been researching locations for observation, and according to theory, the best places to observe body language is in clubs, and other places where inhibitions are cast aside.'

'What's an "inhibition"?'

'They are the things that keep you from embarrassing yourself when you are in public,' Sai explained seriously.

'Like when Sasuke's singing in the shower?' Naruto laughed. Sasuke really couldn't sing. Like really.

'I wouldn't know, Naruto.'

'I'm hungry,' Naruto said, stretching the crick out of his neck. 'Do you want anything?'

'I am a little hungry,' Sai said.

Naruto jumped up. 'Great,' he said and grinned. 'Back in a minute.'

His legs were a bit stiff as he headed into the kitchen. In fact, a bit more than stiff; he'd given Sai a bit more than a workout than usual and now he was paying for it. He rubbed at his sore thighs, massaging them, and kicked out the cramp. He looked in the cupboards and fridge for inspiration. Sai was a health freak, but nowhere near on the same level as Sasuke. One of those weird omelettes would probably be good, but unlike Sasuke's, Naruto would add some cheese and maybe some chives? Naruto pulled out the ingredients and grabbed a pan, whistling to himself as he went to work. He cracked the eggs, separating the yolks and the whites and turned to toss the egg shells in the trash.

He swivelled back and froze, choking on his whistle. 'Sasuke,' his voice was a high squeak as his throat constricted. 'Thought you had finals all day?'

'Why are you naked?' Sasuke asked, pulling his bag from his shoulder and putting it on the little dining table by the window. Naruto didn't miss the annoyed twitch of his lip as he went to the fridge and pulled out one of those peach teas. He sat down at the bench and propped his head in his palm. 'While you're there, can I have one too? I haven't really eaten anything.'

Naruto nodded, of two minds whether to play it cool and continue cooking or, skip out for a second and come back with pants on. He decided on the latter and suavely covered his junk and skipped out of the room, trying to ignore Sasuke's cocked eyebrow.

Sai was staring up at the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. Naruto landed a smooch on his face and grabbed a pair of slacks, dragging them on. 'We have company,' he said quickly.

'Your "petal roommate"?'

Naruto grinned. That sounded so weird coming from Sai. 'Yeah.' He headed back out into the kitchen. Sasuke was removing the pan from the stovetop.

'It was burning,' he said and took his place back opposite Naruto who busied himself whisking the whites and adding the ingredients. Before Sasuke could say anything, Naruto got out another two eggs and whisked the whites in a separate bowl, nothing added. He wiggled his eyebrows at Sasuke who rolled his eyes.

'See, I look after you,' Naruto said and grinned.

'We're going out to celebrate the end of finals for the semester,' Sasuke said, and sipped at his peach tea.

'Who's "we"?' Naruto asked, flipping Sasuke's omelette onto a plate and sliding it toward him. Sasuke sprinkled salt and pepper on the omelette. Naruto handed him a knife and fork and Sasuke proceeded to demolish the omelette in the slowest controlled way possible.

'A few from my graduate class. Sakura's bringing some extra people too. And Kakashi.'

Naruto flipped over Sai's omelette. 'When?'

'Saturday. We're just going to MoMo, and then having a few drinks afterwards, nothing too socially hectic, Naruto. You'll be fine.'

Naruto slipped Sai's omelette onto a plate and proceeded with the third omelette for himself adding as much cheese and junk as he liked. Naruto walked over to the door.

'Yo, Sai!' he called. 'When's that study thing?'

'Saturday,' Sai called back.

Naruto flipped his omelette. 'Where were you planning on having drinks? Because I'm heading out with Sai, it's a nice club apparently; you guys will fit right in.'

Naruto didn't miss the sharp intake of breath. 'Naruto …'

'I'm going with Sai.' Naruto was surprised that he was snapping. He didn't know why he was so angry all of a sudden. Sai wandered into the kitchen and smiled at Sasuke who eyed him.

'Sai, Sasuke,' Naruto said, flipping his omelette again. The guys exchanged pleasantries and Sai eyed the plate with the cooked omelette on it. 'That's yours,' Naruto said and handed him a knife and fork. 'We have all the usual condiments around here, salt, pepper.' Naruto shrugged. 'Go for it.'

'Naruto, if you want to go out with Sasuke, we can postpone,' Sai said and took a bite of the omelette. 'It's no trouble. This is really good,' he said, looking down at his plate. Sai sat down next to Sasuke, who promptly stood up, going to the fridge. He placed a can of peach tea in front of Sai who smiled at Sasuke. 'Thank you, Sasuke.'

Naruto eyed both of them. Oh boy. Sai was sitting real close to Sasuke. There was no way he wouldn't notice he had used his bath foam. Sasuke was so particular, and possessive, about his stuff. Sasuke wouldn't blow up at Sai. No. He would take it out on him. Yeah, better for Sasuke to start arguing with him and leave Sai out of it. It was his fault, he hadn't explained about Sasuke's stuff and how he popped a vein when something was touched. Hopefully, Sasuke would wait until Sai left. Or, maybe he'd make a scene? Make sure he got the point across and make sure Sai felt like dirt? He wouldn't. Would he?

'Naruto, are you alright?' Sai asked. Naruto had gagged slightly on his omelette as he sort of hyperventilated a little bit from his thoughts.

'I told you to chew, moron,' Sasuke said and sliced another piece from his omelette. Naruto slapped on his chest and coughed, bringing the chunk back up.

'I'm good,' he spluttered. And then, the weirdest thing happened. Sasuke and Sai both offered their tea at the same time. Naruto looked from each of the cans, panicking, but then Sasuke took a sip from his can and lowered it to the counter.

Naruto grabbed Sai's tea and gulped it, washing the rest of the chunk down his throat. 'Thanks,' he gagged, recovering slightly. Sai smiled and sipped his tea. 'I need to go,' Sai said. 'Thank you for the omelette.' He made his way over to Naruto, resting his hands on his hips and kissed him. Oh man. Sasuke was going to freak. Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked down at his omelette.

'I'll see you later,' Sai said and turned to Sasuke. 'It was really nice to finally meet you, Sasuke.' Sasuke stood and walked Sai to the door, while Naruto was busy with his omelette. Sasuke sat back down a minute later and sipped at his tea.

'Why don't you want to come with us?' Sasuke asked. 'Sakura will be there. She misses you, and though it would be great to catch up. So, what's your problem?' This was his game. Start an argument about something irrelevant, and then really twist Naruto's balls about his real beef. Aka, Sai using his stuff. Well, Naruto wasn't going to bite.

'I just don't want to, okay,' Naruto said, trying to keep it calm. It was the truth, but truth was he didn't know exactly why he didn't want to go, but all he knew was he didn't. 'Just drop it.'

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He grabbed his tea, swivelling off the stool and stormed into the lounge, leaving Naruto to set about cleaning up the mess he'd made. When he was done, he headed into the lounge too. Sasuke moved his legs, making room for him on the couch, but Naruto kept going into the bathroom. He had a shower and brushed his teeth before going into his room and flopping face first on the bed.

Naruto's phone, for the second time in two days, woke him up. It vibrated twice and then shut up. Naruto almost ignored it, but in the end his curiosity got the better of him.

'See you tonight. Smiley face.' Sakura's number. Naruto stared at the message for a second, realising it was Saturday. 'I'm not going,' he hissed, still not understanding why he was so against the idea. It's not like he hadn't hung out with Sasuke's weird group before. He couldn't say he enjoyed it very much. They'd made fun of him and called him stupid and idiotic. Oncem Naruto even heard one of them whisper in Sasuke's ear "why do you hang out with him? Isn't his stupidity insulting?" Naruto remembered how that had felt. He'd brushed it off, just like always, but it had stuck. The real clincher was when Sasuke hadn't said anything. Sasuke was always calling him stupid and dumb and a moron; Naruto didn't really care though, he basically called everyone an idiot, but somewhere in the back of Naruto's mind, he wondered if Sasuke actually saw him like that.

He annoyed Sasuke because it was fun getting any sort of reaction out of him. Pushing his buttons was Naruto's favourite past time, and if you can't pick on your friends, who can you pick on? But, Sasuke's insults were starting to hurt a bit. They were bringing Naruto down a bit, not that he would ever tell Sasuke, but someone else calling him stupid and dumb? Naruto didn't really like it. Not that he'd ever tell Sasuke. Naruto decided he just wasn't in the mood for the dirty looks and curled lips from people he didn't know very well, and Sasuke should respect that. Not that he'd actually told Sasuke this, and he didn't think he would either.

His door opened and Sasuke came in. He threw a paper bag at Naruto and left again. Naruto opened the bag. Chocolate Danish. Fuck yes. Just what he needed right now. How the fuck did Sasuke always do that? He did spend exactly two seconds commended Sasuke on even touching the 'evil shit', before devouring one of the pastries in two bites. He picked up the other one and it was gone just as quickly. Sasuke wasn't going to get his way though, buttering Naruto up with his favourite pastry, Naruto was determined. He wouldn't go tonight. Nope. No chance.

Naruto's phone buzzed again; Sai.

'I'm sick. I can't go to the club tonight.'

'Ur shitin me?'

There was a two second pause. 'What's "shitin"?'

'It means you are joking. Geez lern proper eng.'

'You misspelled "learn", Naruto.'

'Dn car.'

Another pause. 'I can't come tonight.'

'It's ur thing.'

'But I'm sick.'

'ur jst playin so u can blow me off.'

Another pause. Longer than the last ones. So long, Naruto dropped his phone to the side. It buzzed a second later. Upon seeing the message, Naruto burst out in fits of laughter. Nice one.

'I would like that.' Another vibration. 'How do you do those pictures of smiles?'

'I showd u the other day how to DO IT remember?'

Another pause. Naruto grinned.

'I don't remember.'

'Ooooouuuuucccchhhhhh'

'What do you mean?'

'Lol nuttin' jst shitting u ull get it'

'I don't think half those words were English, Naruto.'

'Probs not'

Another pause. Really long. Naruto went to the bathroom. The little red light was flashing when he got back.

'Can I see you?'

'Thought u wer sick?'

Another pause. 'I'm not.'

Naruto pointed an accusing finger at his phone. Hah.

'I just thought if we didn't go and do my research, then you would go with Sasuke. He seemed disappointed that you didn't want to go with him.'

'I dnt care if hes disappointed'

'That's not very nice. He's your friend.'

'Can we NOT tlk abt this?'

'Fine. But, you should go and celebrate with him.'

'I jst sd can we NOT talk about it? Geez …'

'I'll come with you.'

Naruto stared at his phone. He got up again and had the sudden urge to go and make a drink or something. He did and went back to his phone.

'U want to go right?'

'I thought it sounded fun, and I can do some research anyway, I can watch your friends.'

'That snded rel creepy'

'But, you know what I meant.'

Sasuke had brought him his Danish. 'Fine. Cya tonight'

Another pause.

':)'

Naruto threw his cup in the sink and sprawled on the couch. It wouldn't really be that bad, would it? Sai would be there, he could distract Naruto from Sasuke's stupid classmates. And getting Sakura drunk was always fun. Naruto grinned. He'd just ignore the stupid comments, what did they know anyway?

Naruto groaned and turned over on his back, staring at the ceiling. Sasuke came into his field of vision.

'Don't touch the cake in the fridge. It's for tonight.'

'You don't eat cake.'

'Just don't touch it.' Sasuke disappeared out of Naruto's view and Naruto felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

'Sasuke's phone's off. Tell him I'm bringing someone else as well.' It was Sakura's number. Naruto's phone buzzed again. 'Thanks BTW.'

What was he? There fucking message boy? He huffed and knocked on Sasuke's door. No answer. He couldn't have slipped out the front door, Naruto would have heard. Bathroom? Naruto strained to hear; the shower wasn't going, but the door was open a crack.

'Yo, Sasuke,' Naruto said and pushed the door open. Sasuke was in front of the mirror brushing his teeth. He was dripping wet but wearing grey slacks. Only grey slacks. He raised an annoyed eyebrow at Naruto in the mirror. He leaned on the sink and spat the paste into the basin.

'What?' he said and straightened, turning to face Naruto. That was weird; usually he would scream at him for bursting in on him like that. Usually he'd probably punch him or something for being so rude. Usually he'd shove him back out the door and usually he'd slam the door in Naruto's face. Usually. 'Are you going to spit it out?'

'That's what they all say,' Naruto said and grinned, before remembering that it probably wasn't the best time for jokes, because he was meant to be mad at Sasuke for no reason and that he wasn't meant to be making jokes with him anyway.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

'Sakura said she's got another one for tonight,' Naruto shrugged. 'That's all.'

'Who?'

'Dunno. That's all she said. Why's your phone off?'

Sasuke frowned. 'I didn't know it was.'

'That's what Sakura said.'

Naruto's phone rang. It was Sakura. 'Tell Sasuke, that if he wants me to keep him in the loop on plans, he should turn on his phone,' Sakura said in that low sweet voice she uses when she's really angry.

'He says it's on.'

'Not for the past two hours.'

'Tell him yourself,' Naruto said shoving his phone over to Sasuke. Their fingers touched as Sasuke took it from him. Naruto rubbed his fingers together. They tingled slightly from the contact.

'Yeah, hopefully Naruto can keep his hands off it until tonight.' Sasuke listened for a second, glanced at Naruto and then looked away. 'I tried. He doesn't want to.'

Naruto tapped Sasuke on the shoulder and grinned at him. 'Changed my mind, as long as Sai can come. I'm not hanging with your stuffy friends all alone.'

Sasuke squezzed Naruto's arm briefly.

'Turns out, he's coming after all. So, that makes … twenty-two?'

'Three,' Naruto chimed. 'Sai.'

'Twenty-three. That cake's big enough to feed the whole campus, so I don't think there's going to be a problem.' He listened again. 'Right. See you tonight then.'

Sasuke pressed the red button and went to hand his phone back to Naruto, but it sort of slipped out of his fingers onto the tiles at their feet. They both bent to pick it up, but Naruto got there first, inspecting to see if it was broken or anything. It was fine. Naruto stood, Sasuke seemed to lose his balance and fell against the sink.

'Fucking clutz,' Naruto said. Sasuke glared at him. His eyes were so shiny in the bright light and his pout was so … Naruto froze. A drip of water dropped from a strand of hair behind Sasuke's ear and rolled down Sasuke's shoulder, down his chest and sort of evaporated or disappeared on the way down to the hem of Sasuke's slacks.

'What are you staring at, moron?'

Naruto blinked; Sasuke's annoyed but expectant expression slapped Naruto in the face. He'd actually forgotten who he was looking at for a second. Naruto took a step forward as another drip followed the first down Sasuke's chest.

'I …' Naruto blinked again; realising somehow, he was now closer to Sasuke. In fact, one more step and he would be right in front of him. He caught the drip as it rolled down Sasuke's chest and stared for a moment at his moist fingertips.

'Naruto …'

But Naruto wasn't listening, he grabbed the sink either side of Sasuke as his heart hammered in his chest. The annoyance on Sasuke's face melted into one of surprise as Naruto leaned closer. Suddenly Sasuke's fingertips were on Naruto's forearms, pleading with him silently to stop.

Sasuke's lips parted slightly, drawing in a quick harsh breath. 'What are you doing?' he whispered; Naruto had never … _never_ … heard _that_ tone in Sasuke's voice before. Sasuke's fingers squeezed Naruto's arms. They were cold, rough, and delicate on his skin. The light touch sent jolts of adrenaline through Naruto's body as he helplessly leaned closer still.

'Naruto …' Sasuke's lips formed his name; Naruto stared, transfixed by the movement. He felt Sasuke physically tense and he gasped as Naruto's lips moved to within millimetres of his own. This reaction sent a fresh wave of adrenaline through Naruto's body as his heart pounded somewhere in his throat. He gulped back the apprehension that threatened to freeze him as he …

Sasuke's fingers clawed at Naruto's arms as he contorted himself over the sink, kicking his legs, shoving against Naruto's chest. A small squeal of protest strangled somewhere between them as Sasuke continued his attempts of escape. Naruto broke free. He knew he was sweating and panting, even from such a brief touch of lips. He knew he was shaking. He knew Sasuke could see it, and he knew, in the space of exactly ten seconds he'd just ruined his friendship forever with the one guy he respected most in the entire world.

Sasuke finally managed to break free completely and shoved at Naruto again. He glared at him for a second; and shoved him again.

'What. The. _Fuck_?'

His eyes were wide in disbelief. Shock? Hate? Naruto didn't know, but the mixture of the emotions painted on Sasuke's face as he stormed from the bathroom summed up the monumental mistake he had just made. Naruto collapsed against the sink and groaned. He ran the cold water and splashed it all over his face, scrubbing at his cheeks, eyes, and chin. He pressed his wet, cold fingers into his eyelids and stood there for a good ten minutes, willing his heart to calm down.

Fuck. Naruto snapped up suddenly and looked in the mirror. His cheeks were red, his neck was flushed. His eyes showed his panic. Fuck. He swiped at the mirror and spun away from it. Fuck. He stormed to the door and slammed it shut as forcefully as he could; the whole wall shook. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

Turned out Sakura wasn't crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

'Stupid … fucking …' Naruto gasped in anger. Yeah, he didn't know what he was feeling right now, but embarrassment was a pretty good bet. 'Fuck,' he spat as he kicked at the trash can near the bench. He inhaled a hopeless breath and collapsed, head in his hands, on the bench.

What the hell was he _thinking_ back there? Actually, that's the problem. He wasn't thinking. He didn't know how to think because he was so stupid and dumb and all those other things people keep saying about him. He was so dumb and he shouldn't have done that. He regretted it; thinking about it now, thinking how Sasuke reacted …

'Fuck's sake,' Naruto gasped angrily.

He was an idiot; of course Sasuke was going to be grossed out by it, of course Sasuke would be angry. Well, what did he expect? His best friend … _ex_ -best friend would be happy about it? That he would just accept it and drop everything for Naruto? Naruto didn't know what he had hoped to achieved out of his stupid decision to totally ruin his friendship with Sasuke, but he had definitely succeeded in at least doing that. Naruto gaped and huffed as the ramifications of his stupid actions slapped him in the face. Sasuke would hate him. Sasuke would probably never trust him again, probably wouldn't want be anywhere near him, probably would leave and not come back.

'Shit …' Naruto shook his head and scrubbed at his eyes. He'd definitely done a number, all because he couldn't keep it in his pants. He had lost control back there, and had regretted it instantly as soon as he had seen Sasuke's face. Naruto's heart jumped into his throat as he remembered the look on Sasuke's face; he didn't feel like that, not with Naruto. And, really, Naruto didn't blame him. Naruto had made a stupid, _stupid_ fucking decision, and now nothing would be right between them ever again.

Well, he'd do the prick a favour and stay away from him. Yeah, he wouldn't want to remind the stupid bastard of his idiot ex-best friends dumb actions. He wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable or anything being around him. Naruto barked out a harsh laugh which turned immediately into a disbelieving choke. Naruto could not believe he had been so stupid. Of course Sasuke wouldn't feel that away about him, of course Sasuke had never even thought of Naruto like that. He didn't need Naruto, his weekend antics made that clear. Naruto had just embarrassed himself for no fucking reason, and as a clincher had lost his best friend in the process.

'Yeah, good going,' Naruto grated to himself. 'Fucking moron.'

Naruto sat on that bench for ages going over the stupid thing over and over and over again, doing a play by play in his brain, repeating it over and over and over again. Sasuke's lips were soft, but rough. He tasted like really strong mint; he had just brushed his teeth. His lips had tensed immediately and he his fingers had ripped into Naruto's arm. Sasuke's lips were like … they were magnetic …

Naruto slapped himself in the face with both of his palms repeatedly.

'Snap the fuck out of it, idiot,' he berated himself. 'It ain't gonna happen.'

Naruto tried to ignore the rise of emotion that balled in his throat. Nah, he wasn't going to let that happen. He needed to stop being an idiot and accept the situation for what it was. Sasuke didn't like him, and after his stupid show back there, probably never wanted to see him again. Naruto could be cool about it; after all he had lived without the prick before, they'd spent years apart when Sasuke's family had moved away, only to return at the start of high school. And, Naruto told himself, trying to make himself feel better, he'd lived without these stupid annoying feelings his entire life, what difference did it make now? It was just so 'Fucked up?' Naruto berated himself cruelly.

He laughed again, the sound clenched in his throat and another wave of embarrassed hopelessness washed over him. He took a steadying breath and screwed his eyes shut. He wanted so badly to rewind and punch himself in the face before even going into the bathroom. He wanted to slap some sense into himself, and to realise it was not a good idea, and that he had so much respect for the guy that he wouldn't do that because it would definitely strain their friendship. Naruto would never forgive himself for not thinking it through, and now he didn't know what to do other than stay away from Sasuke.

The sun was low by now; Naruto was surprised he'd been out there that long. The only conclusion he'd drawn was that it had happened, couldn't be changed and he was, like everyone said, a fucking moron.

Sasuke's expression …

Naruto rolled his eyes and laughed again in embarrassment. What the hell had he been thinking? Seriously? He couldn't face the guy. Ever. He'd never be able to forget that look of horror and … disgust? Yeah, that was the other one mixed in. It was only for a second, but it was there.

'Shit,' Naruto remembered he'd agreed to go tonight. Oh, for fuck's _sake_. If he went, he'd have to deal with Sasuke and pretend everything was peachy. If he didn't go everyone would know, probably start asking questions, start prodding, start prying. Naruto rolled his eyes. He knew Sasuke would take it to the grave. He didn't want to see Sasuke right now, he knew he'd die of embarrassment, but he also knew Sasuke. Sasuke was really good at pretending when he was in public. He was probably thinking the same thing right now. Naruto knew Sasuke would still go and pretend everything was normal. He'd even hav to try and pretend that Naruto and he were cool.

It was going to be a long night. Accepting the fact that Sasuke was probably in there, and coming up with every escape plan in the world if they had to interact, Naruto made his way back to the dorm. He was almost at the door when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

'Sorry, but I do still live here, you know,' he snapped as he turned, for some reason expecting it to be Sasuke behind him, and getting pissed because he had to deal with him so soon. But, it wasn't Sasuke; Akamaru frowned at him.

'You guys fighting again?' he asked as he followed Naruto into the dorm.

If only they were just fighting … 'Want a soda or something,' Naruto asked as he threw his keys on the coffee table. They didn't have any soda. 'Or coffee?'

Akamaru shook his head. 'I just came to get the cake.'

Naruto opened the fridge. A green box sat squarely in the middle of the shelves. Naruto stood aside so Akamaru could get to it. He propped the box on the counter and shot an accusing stare at Naruto.

'Spill it.'

'What?'

Akamaru sighed and stabbed a finger at Naruto. 'I can see right through you, Naruto. You got that look in your eye.' Akamaru smirked.

What look? 'Fuck off, Akamaru.'

Akamaru laughed. 'Okay,' he drawled, picking up the cake and heading over to the door. 'I'll find out who it is though. You know I will, I have connections.'

'You're so full of shit,' Naruto said and grinned for the first time all day. Akamaru was such a fucking snoop. He'd sell his grandmother's frilly knickers if it bought him a story. He slapped Akamaru on the back and closed the door behind him.

He prepared himself the best he could for the inevitable. He remembered how to pretend; he was good at brushing things off, he was good at smiling and laughing. He would just forget about before. Wallowing in self-pity was Sasuke's thing, not his. Plus. Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. It would help some to forget about his stupid mistake.

Naruto went to have a shower but froze in the doorway. His towel slipped from his arm and he couldn't get his feet to move into the room. Sasuke's face when Naruto pulled back … the embarrassment slapped him in the chest so forcefully, he couldn't breathe.

Naruto turned around and headed to his room to get dressed; he didn't need a shower anyway.

Naruto stared at the TV but the images didn't infiltrate his brain. Sasuke hadn't come back all afternoon. Good. Naruto didn't want to see him anyway. The blue and black and reds of the TV, pulsed against the coffee table as Naruto gulped the last of the amber liquid in the glass. He poured more into the glass, grinning as he remembered spending nearly a whole week's pay on the stupid thing back at the start of the year.

'Cheers,' he said to himself and gulped the liquid, coughing slightly as it slid down smoothly. It had stopped burning about an hour ago, but Naruto still didn't feel he was buzzed enough. He barely registered the knock on the door. A soft rap. 'Come in,' he called and leaned back on the couch, as the room started spinning.

'It's locked,' came a muffled reply.

Naruto navigated his way over to the door and after the third attempt managed to unlock it. Sai's familiar smile greeted him from the hall and he stepped into the room. 'Are you ready to go?'

'Why'd you lie to me earlier, man?' Naruto blurted.

Sai frowned but then his eyes crinkled. 'I wanted to observe your friends; intimate groups are much more fascinating than strangers, but I didn't want to say it, because you already had said you didn't want to go. So, I thought I would come up with a plan to convince you to go tonight.' Sai smiled like it was obvious. Naruto didn't remember sitting back down on the couch and Sai had lost him at "wanted". Sai lightly ran a finger over the neck of the bourbon bottle.

'Sounds good,' Naruto mumbled and went for the Jack bottle. Sai pulled the bottle gently from his hand, and pulled him up.

'We are quite late as it is, Naruto.'

Somehow, they were now standing outside MoMo and Sai was explaining something to the dude in the boring brown suit. Next thing, Naruto was being dragged along through the tables. He accidently bumped into a chair and fell in some woman's lap. She screamed at him and beat him with her purse and Naruto tried to fend her off and apologise and not laugh all at the same time. Sai came to Naruto's rescue and, next thing, Naruto's sitting at some table, trying to stop the room spinning and ignoring all the burning eyes staring at him.

'Hi,' he said, remembering manners. 'How's it going?'

'Naruto,' Sakura growled under her breath next to him. 'Where have you been?'

Naruto shrugged and found water and gulped the water, but it didn't help the fire in his chest. He grabbed another water and gulped it as well. He didn't care when a girl to his left giggled at him and rolled her eyes.

He flinched as someone squeezed his thigh. Sai had his usual default friendly smile projected at the gathering, but he was subtly screaming at Naruto through his grip. Sai's eyes were nowhere near as friendly when he glanced at Naruto and filled his water glass again. Naruto looked from Sai to Sakura and back. He sort of deflated in his chair a little bit and gulped the water, wilting under the glares from most people around the table. His mouth filled with saliva as the waft of barbecue from the centre of the table finally struck him. He pulled some meat onto the plate in front of him and scarfed it down, going for another bit. Sakura grabbed his plate and filled it with meat and vegetables and slapped it back down in front of him with a huff.

Naruto was starving; he shoved as much as he could into his mouth and bore the impossible task of chewing it all and swallowing without gagging. Gradually, the gathering went back to their conversations and their meal, and Naruto relaxed slightly. That is, until he made the mistake of looking up. Dark narrowed eyes slapped him in the face from across the table; the look lasted a millisecond Sasuke turned back to Kakashi, who playfully stroked Sasuke's jaw line and leaned in for a peck. Sasuke smiled and leaned into Kakashi. Something … a weird indescribable something pulsed overwhelmingly through Naruto. Sasuke had looked at him like that a million times before, but this time it was different. Suddenly, Naruto was feeling a lot more sober.

'I gotta …' Naruto mumbled, hoping Sai and Sakura could hear him. He stood up, stumbling over his chair and heading blindly away from the table, hoping he was heading toward the bathroom. He miraculously found the restrooms and shoved the door open. No one was in there, Naruto did his business before leaning over one of the sinks. He splashed water on his face, the cool liquid doing nothing to douse the heat coursing through his body. He was being an idiot again. He tried to shake the stupid out of him and steadied himself with a few deep breaths, but he couldn't bring himself to look at the stupid idiot in the mirror.

He pulled all his courage, all his rationale, before heading back out to the table. Sai's fingers stroked his back lightly when he sat back down. Sakura was squinting at him, her lips working in that look that said she was trying to figure something out.

'I'm good. Yeah,' Naruto said to her. 'Sorry, needed to pee real quick.'

Sakura screwed up her nose in disgust and waved her hand at him. 'Keep it for the locker room, Naruto,' she said. But the smile crept back into her eyes and she leaned over slightly. 'Are you sure you're okay?'

Naruto nodded quickly. Bad move, the room decided to swim for a second, but went back to its static state after a moment. 'Yeah. Yeah, I'm awesome,' he said, slightly distracted by Sai's fingers stroking up and down his back under his jacket. Sakura took a sip of something bright yellow in a stem glass.

'I was thinking,' Sakura mused, 'since we've been neglecting each other so much this semester, I would love if you would come home with me? We could just hang out, and …' she smiled. See, she couldn't just ever enjoy his awesome company, there always had to be another hidden deal involved.

'And?' Naruto prompted, apprehensive.

Sakura smiled again. Naruto didn't miss the fleeting glance across the table as she took another sip of that yellow stuff. 'And nothing, I guess,' she finished. 'I've just missed hanging out, is all, Naruto.'

Naruto grinned; she'd always been a sucker for his brakish charms. 'Sakura, I told you,' he grabbed Sai and smooshed him on the face. 'You got some parts missing.' He laughed and smacked her in the arm, ignoring the sideways glances from half the party at the table. She looked shocked and looked around the table for a moment.

'Naruto!' she scolded. 'You're disgusting!'

Naruto pouted at her. 'Ouch.'

Sakura gasped. 'No. I meant. I just …' she spluttered. 'The way you put things –'

'Sai has no trouble with the way I put things, do you?' Naruto asked, glancing at him smiling mischievously at him.

Sai's eyebrows raised slowly but the crinkle and sparkle shone once more. 'I don't. No. In fact, Naruto's pen –'

'Okay!' Sakura squealed. 'Thank you, Sai, for that image. Thanks,' she muttered darkly, taking a rather long sip of her drink, her face flushing as she looked away from the two of them. Naruto couldn't help laughing at her. He kept laughing, kept grinning, distracting himself, ignoring the fact that he could feel dark, intense eyes staring at him from across the table, but he wasn't going to look at him. He wouldn't look at Sasuke ever again, because the expression on Sasuke's face back there in the bathroom had said everything. He didn't want Naruto looking at him, so he would give him what he wanted.

'Anyway, yeah, we should hang over break Sakura,' Naruto said going back to the original proposal. 'It'll be fun. Just like old times,' he said breathily, leaning over her and gazing at her.

'Well, as long as Sai can bear to part with you for awhile,' Sakura said.

'I have to finish my thesis,' Sai said, the smile never leaving his face.

'Ooh, a thesis on what?' Sakura asked. Her cheeks were a bit shiny and her neck was flushed. She was really liking that yellow stuff. She leaned closer over Naruto, prompting Sai to go on.

'Feet,' Naruto chimed in. Sakura frowned at him, but her eyes returned to Sai.

Sai stroked Naruto's side and Naruto leaned a little closer to him; mostly to get away from Sakura's boobs which were now pressing against his arm as Sai and her buried themselves in conversation.

A rhythmic chink on a glass broke through the conversations at the table. Kakashi stood up to formerly address the gathering. He raked his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat. Naruto tuned out completely as he said whatever he was saying and instead, played with the tablecloth. He flinched when the party all clapped at once and he looked over as Kakashi was bowing a bit in all directions. Naruto knew he shouldn't have looked over to that side of the table. His eyes twitched with the effort, but finally he couldn't do it anymore and his gaze flicked to Sasuke a millisecond. It felt like it lasted a lifetime as he absorbed every detail; the small smile, the shape of his jaw, the way his hair shaped the side of his face, the shine of his cheek, the contour of his ear peeking out from his hair, the line of his neck, his long slender fingers coming together as he clapped politely, the crinkle of his eyes as he looked up at …

'And I've asked Sasuke to come with me,' Kakashi said, taking Sasuke by the hand. Sasuke stood; a small frown of surprise on his face. Naruto tried to remember what the guy was talking about. Where was Sasuke going? For how long? When?

'Where are they going,' Naruto asked Sakura. Sakura looked at him blankly, the same frown was on her face.

'Europe for study. For three years. Weren't you listening?'

That fucking ball of emotion clenched its claws around his throat and squeezed. Naruto inhaled through his mouth and stood up as a guy in a boring brown suit brought the cake over and laid it in front of Kakashi.

Sakura grabbed his wrist and squeezed. 'Where are you going?'

'Bathroom,' Naruto lied. He had to get out of there; he had to get out before he did something he regretted. See, that's that thinking thing he'd developed over the day. He was only getting in the way anyway, he didn't need to be there, he was sure he could slip out without anyone noticing.

'Where are you going?'

Naruto huffed. He'd already said … but then he realised it was a different voice, deeper, friendlier than Sakura's. Naruto stared at the flip flops and the loose hems of dark blue jeans. His eyes then travelled up to the oversized boho cardigan and the small smile.

'Hi,' Gaara said and Naruto just grabbed him and hugged him tightly without making the decision to do so, mentally kicking himself that he'd made a decision again with meaning to, but he just couldn't let him go, because he just couldn't actually believe that he was there.

'Sakura invited me. She said you needed cheering up? And since I had some free time, I figured I'd come all the way back over here to visit your stupid ass.'

'Shut up,' Naruto said and let him go. He punched Gaara in the arm. 'Six months, man? What the hell? France can't be that awesome.'

'It is actually. Much more fun than hanging out with you.'

Naruto punched him again and hugged him again.

'Shall we?' Gaara said and stepped forward. Naruto paused. He couldn't go back in there, he couldn't face them. They didn't know why, but it would kill him right now.

Naruto grabbed Gaara and pulled him away from the party. After the surprise wore off, Gaara followed willingly.

'Ichiraku,' Naruto mumbled. 'It's still open.'

 _'C'est tu plait._ '

What the hell did that mean? Gaara was a man of the world now, so much he couldn't even understand him anymore. 'Let's blow this joint.'

An hour later, Naruto drained the sake cup and stacked it on the other five. He was definitely buzzed, definitely relaxed now. They'd gone through all the usual conversation of 'what you been up to', 'remember when' and 'study sucks', and now they were philosophising over the world, the universe, and everything.

'Snails beat worms, hands down,' Naruto yelled, smacking his palm into the table. The place was slowly emptying, but because it was the night of the last day of semester, it was tradition for Ichiraku to be open all night. Gaara laughed.

'Worms bury into the ground, can survive with no food for seven years and can break themselves into segments if they can't find a mate.'

'Yeah? Well …' Naruto strained his drunk brain to come up with a great opposing argument. They'd been going at this for like … minutes now. 'Snails have shells. Hah.'

'Worms can survive nuclear fallout.'

'Snails have teeth.'

'Worms can live for a hundred years.'

'Snails have those weird stringy eyes!' Naruto yelled adamantly. 'And teeth.'

Gaara snorted, choking slightly on his sake. He held up his hands. 'Well, you have me there, you win.'

'Believe it,' Naruto said, saluting Gaara and draining another cup. The world was spinning, shaking and shimmering in front of Naruto's eyes. He felt bright and cool and awesome right now. He could take on anything; he could do anything. He was invincible.

'How long you here for?' he slurred. Gaara's face blurred and swam in Naruto's vision. His red hair sparkled the low light.

'Tomorrow, Naruto.'

Wow. Naruto reached for the sake bottle but missed and it toppled off the table and smashed on the floor. Naruto grinned at the bottle. It was done for the night.

'How's Sasuke?'

'Another bottle over here!' Naruto called loudly to the bar. The guy brought over the bottle and cleared the bowls and plates stacked high on the table. Naruto grabbed the bottle and tried to uncork it, but all of a sudden his fingers had no strength.

'Are you guys having fun? I remember when I was in my first year …'

Naruto tuned him out as he tried pulling the cork out with his teeth, but it was stuck tight. 'Stupid … thing,' he mumbled as he faltered with the cork.

'Naruto?'

Naruto handed the bottle to Gaara who opened it easily and poured more into Naruto's glass. Naruto gulped it and drained it. He held his bowl out again. Gaara poured more in.

'Are you –'

'I don't fucking want to talk about the prick, okay. Sheesh. Drop it will you.'

Nothing effected Gaara. You could not get a reaction out of the guy no matter how hard you tried, and Naruto had tried. And tried. A lot. He'd just look at you and brush it off. This guy raised his eyebrows and swiped his fingers over the side of his neck.

'Fucking Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Everyone's always talking about him, obsessing over him, ogling and touching him. Fuck, you know there's more people in the world than just him, you know. But no, he's the most interesting thing in the world isn't he? Well, fuck, I don't care, okay. Geez, I'm so sick of talking about him. If you want to know how he is, ask him your-fucking-self.' Naruto knew he was rambling, but couldn't stop himself. The sake was definitely doing its job. Naruto looked at Gaara blearily; Gaara just met his glare.

'Are you done?'

'Yeah,' Naruto said and deflated, he dropped his head to the cool surface of the table. 'I'm so fucking done. With all of it. I can't do this anymore …'

'Do what anymore?'

'Sasuke is …' so fucking sexy. So fucking hot and sexy and attractive, and hot and sexy, and Naruto was helplessly attracted to him. He was so attracted to him it hurt. He was so fascinated and hypnotised by the bastard. He didn't _do_ anything. He just made a cup of tea. Just munched on apple slices. Why did he slice up apples? Why couldn't he just eat them normally? Just watched TV. Just glared. Just washed the dishes. Just opened his door. Just walked to the kitchen. Just tossed the mail on the coffee table. Just typed on his laptop. Just listened to music. Just walked down the street. Just … just …

Naruto groaned into his arms.

No. Naruto told his foggy brain. He told his stupid brain to shut up. He clamped down on his mouth, bit his tongue … screamed at himself to shut up.

NO! He was screaming at himself now. He'd wished he hadn't started drinking, it was making it hard to hold onto that logic thing. That thing that told him saying things was stupid and that if he didn't stop himself Gaara would hear everything.

'He doesn't want …' me. Fuck, it rips out his heart that Sasuke, without saying a single word rejected him completely. No question. No argument. Just … no.


	5. Chapter 5

Naruto woke up as his gut heaved and he hauled it to the bathroom, kneeling over the toilet as his gut protested the sake from last night. Everything came out and kept coming, splashing on the porcelain and the tiles on the floor as Naruto pleaded silently with his gut to cease its torturous wringing of his insides. He spat into the toilet and groaned; realising, now that the vomiting was slowing down, that his head was pulsing cruelly almost ready to drop from his shoulders.

Naruto felt the fuzzy feeling and twisting in his gut again, shoved his head in the already full bowl, the acrid stench of contents of his stomach causing a new wave of nausea to hit him and kick him where it hurts. He slumped to the side, still clinging helplessly to the toilet bowl and screwed his eyes shut. The dim light was too much. His stinging dry eyes couldn't take the assault. He blinked once but the light pulsed straight to the pounding in his head and he puked again. He collapsed over the toilet, the taste of his puke in the back of his throat and tried to spit the last of the vomit into the brown murky, chunky liquid swimming in the bowl. His hand brushed against something and Naruto squinted at the object.

It was a bottle of water. Next to it lay a box of painkillers. How nice of Gaara to think of him in his time of need. Naruto gulped the water, heaved, puked, gulped again, rinse and repeat. He tried to get the pills down, desperate to slow the pulsing and stinging and stabbing in his eyes, temples and neck. He gulped more of the water, this time there was a minute's pause before he puked. He didn't know if the painkillers came up with it and didn't care. This time he put the painkillers in his mouth and sipped, slowly swallowing, hoping that sneaking up on his stomach would allow the water to sit for a bit.

He was wrong and instantly puked again, feeling like crying from the shitty state he was in. The strength he had in making it to the toilet had deserted him as he stumbled blindly toward his room and flopped again on the bed, accepting his fate. He pulled his pillow up over his head and hoped that he would either recover or die. Whichever was less painless, whichever one would come first.

His phone vibrated. Once. Twice. Three times. Four. Five. It wasn't going to happen. He didn't have the strength to pick it up, or read, or breathe. Naruto groaned again as a fresh pulse of nausea and pain hit him and the room span even with his eyes closed. He didn't know how long he lay there for, halfway between sleep, but someone sat down on his bed, but he couldn't bring himself to move the pillow away from his eyes.

'How you doing?'

Gaara. Another bottle of water was thrust under the pillow. Naruto didn't want to sit up, but his need for liquid overthrew his need to not puke everywhere, so he slowly pulled himself up on the bed and took the bottle of water.

'Yeah,' Naruto said. He gulped at the water, and thankfully it stayed where it was meant to stay. He'd live. He would have grinned if he wasn't in so much pain and whatever because he was pretty sure the sound that came out of his mouth wasn't "yeah".

'I didn't just come here to see you, you know. I had something I wanted to tell you.'

'What?' Naruto asked, pretty sure "what" wasn't what that strangled groan was. He couldn't take any more of the water.

'I'm entering Parliament. I think it's time I dealt with my father's mess.'

Naruto's brain in its current state couldn't comprehend what Gaara was saying so he just closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into his thumping temples, wishing he could dig the pain out of his head.

'I'm moving permanently over there. It's the only way, so unfortunately … are you sure you're okay?'

Naruto was hugging his knees; he let his cheek rest against them. They were warm, so warm. His gut boiled again, but he was able to ignore it.

'I'll never see you again?'

'I'll fly you over now and then, how about that?'

It was what he'd wanted to do since he was a kid. He'd been spending more and more time in France, more and more time away from home. Naruto knew, secretly, Gaara thought of the place as his home now. He had ideas, innovations, and an awesome leader's brain.

'What about …' Naruto didn't want to be selfish. 'This is your home, Gaara. We're your family. I never got why you weren't satisfied with that.'

'And I don't think you will, Naruto.'

Naruto risked opening his eyes. They were still bleary and blurred; still fucking stung and sent stabs of pain smashing through his head. Gaara sat on the side of his bed, arms crossed, mouth set in a line.

'You did a lot for me when we were growing up. You practically saved me from myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to repay that debt.'

'Argh, shut up with your soppy shit. I can't take it.'

'I'm not being soppy, Naruto, I'm speaking the truth. You saved me back then, and I can't tell you how grateful I am to you. I wanted to see you, because I …' what was this? Gaara, lost for words? Hah, Naruto never thought he'd see the day.

'Well, it's not like you haven't been trying to get away from me all this time,' Naruto grinned the best he could. 'You practically ran away first opportunity you got.'

'I didn't want to go, but now it's inevitable. I'm the only one who can -'

'Geek,' Naruto poked.

'This isn't funny, Naruto. I'm saying goodbye.'

'Well, you're saying the wrong thing. You can't get rid of me that easily, I'll always be around if you want me or not.'

'I'd like that.' His phone rang, Gaara didn't move.

'Shouldn't you answer that?'

'No. But I have to go.'

'But you said you didn't have to until … oh …' It _was_ Sunday.

Gaara squeezed his arm. Naruto threw himself on him and squeezed.

'Thank you,' Gaara said sincerely. 'For everything you've done for me.'

Naruto choked on the emotion in his throat. It hit him like a brick; Gaara was leaving, off to fulfil his dreams of helping his country. Naruto couldn't stand in the way of that.

'And thanks to you too,' Naruto said. 'For the painkillers and water.'

'What painkillers?'

'The one's you left near the toilet, duh. Thanks for that.'

Gaara broke away. 'It wasn't me.'

A smash of emotion rippled through the nausea. It was so touching. Even after yesterday, Sasuke was still looking out for him.

'I'm leaving and I'm probably never going to see you again, Naruto,' Gaara began. 'So, I have no qualms in saying what I'm about to say.'

'What are you going to say?' Naruto asked, slightly apprehensive. He didn't like that tone.

'I'd shake you, but you'd puke on me. Stop being an idiot. The both of you need to get over yourselves.'

'What?' Naruto spluttered.

'You know what I'm talking about. I'm not stupid, and guess what, everyone else can see it, so get over it and do something about it.'

'About what?'

Gaara stood. 'I have to go.' He squeezed Naruto's shoulder. 'We'll talk to soon, and hopefully by then you'll have stopped moping over him.'

'I kissed him,' Naruto blurted.

Gaara almost smiled, and then left the room. Naruto heard the front door click. Naruto felt like puking. Everyone knew? Until a few days ago not even he knew! So, that was just stupid. It's not like he was carrying around a billboard that said "I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend" on it. Imagine that. He was getting used to the shock of his revelation; but he didn't like the idea that it was completely obvious to everyone but himself. How did they know? Did he mumble it in his sleep or something? Sent an all contacts emails without knowing it?

Break went by in a whirl; Naruto spent a majority of the time with Sakura and her family. They had been like a second family. It was nice to just hang out with her, but he couldn't bring himself to discuss his problem with her because she was too close to Sasuke, and he couldn't bear the thought of being laughed at behind his back. He didn't say that to Sakura, but she oh so discreetly ignored the fact that Naruto was sulking.

When school resumed, he avoided Sasuke as much as he could for a couple of weeks. Naruto, for the first time ever, put himself in someone else's shoes. If it had been around the other way, and he was a prick with no social skills and no feelings, he wouldn't want to talk to the guy who jumped him and groped him in the bathroom either. Sasuke didn't want to talk to him, and Naruto was kind of glad about it because he didn't know what he was going to say anyway. If they got into the conversation, Naruto would probably die of embarrassment having to confess to Sasuke how he was helplessly attracted to him. He didn't mean to be, if he could take it back, he would because it was more trouble than it was worth. He had tried, but it didn't work, all it did was make him crazy. So, after weeks, he couldn't take it anymore and made the decision to give it a shot to talk to him. Why not? They'd had fights before and had gotten through it, what made this one so different?

When he got back to the dorm that night Sasuke was already there. He liked to study at the dining table overlooking the mountains. Naruto preferred the couch, or his bed, much more comfortable. Naruto dumped his bags in his room; Sasuke's back was too him. His laptop was open to some document and he was typing quickly. He had his headphones on and was oblivious to Naruto in the kitchen behind him. Sasuke paused and pulled a pen from his teeth, checking something on a notepad. He dropped the pen and rubbed at his neck, stretching back over the chair with a groan.

Naruto waltzed up to Sasuke, about to interrupt his study session, but swiftly did a one eighty and took a couple of steps in the other direction. No, he was being dumb, he had to get this fixed. He turned back, definitely going to talk to Sasuke, but then he sort of choked and stormed off into his room instead.

'Shit …' he looked around his room and realised he'd left his laptop bag in the lounge. It had his flash drives from last semester in it. He couldn't pull the notes if he didn't have the drive… He huffed, realising he'd have to go back out there, and Sasuke was out there and now he knew he was here and it would get awkward and he would glare at him and give him that look and act stupid and … and …

Naruto scoffed. When did he become that guy? He'd decided something over break; he was willing to do whatever he could to mend their friendship, because it was worth it. It scared him, thinking that they wouldn't be friends anymore, and he was willing to chop off an arm to get the thing fixed as quick as possible. But, if Sasuke didn't want to talk to him, he would respect that too.

Naruto took one of those peach teas from the fridge and placed it on the table next to Sasuke's notepad. He could do this … he could …

Sasuke kept typing for a minute and Naruto just waited. Finally, Sasuke stopped typing and glanced at Naruto. He opened the tea and took a sip.

'Hey …'

'I'm busy.'

It was the first words Sasuke had said to him in weeks, but they were words. Actual formations of human speech. Naruto grinned. Good. Better.

'I'm busy,' he repeated and took another sip of the tea. Naruto just stood there as Sasuke typed away. The word count said 8591; Sasuke huffed and pushed away from the laptop, pulling the headphones from his ears. He turned the chair to Naruto and crossed his arms.

'What. Do you want, Naruto?'

'What are you working on?'

Sasuke glanced at his computer. 'Sociology.'

'Cool,' Naruto said. If it was anything like psychology, Sasuke must be having the time of his life. 'Cool. Look …' Everyone knew. It was glaringly obvious to everyone. Sasuke stared at him, more than a little annoyed.

'What?'

Naruto rubbed at his neck. 'Got a minute?'

'No.' And that was it. Sasuke shut him down; no argument. Naruto went to leave, but turned back, but Sasuke was already typing again.

Next day, after class Naruto had the overwhelming urge for some proper ramen, so he headed over to Ichiraku and ordered some pork. He took up his favourite seat near the window and by the door. Sai liked to watch people, and liked that Naruto sat by windows that looked out onto the street, so he could "observe everyday happenings". Naruto liked to watch things too, but not like in a creepy stalker way like Sai.

After finishing his second bowl, Naruto was starting to feel the pinch of fullness, but he wasn't ready to get going yet; it meant he'd have to go home. And Sasuke was probably there, and after last night, the longer he could stall his return the better, so he ordered another bowl and a coffee as well. He got out his phone as he waited for his next round.

'How u doin?' He texted Sai. 'Howz teh prjt cummin?'

'Very interesting.' Sai texted back a minute later. 'I'm a little busy at the moment.'

'Yeah' Naruto texted. 'Wll do sumfin nxt week?'

Naruto waited. His ramen and coffee came, and he wolfed down the noodles and pork.

Naruto considered texting Sasuke. Texting was a much better option; Naruto couldn't really handle Sasuke's annoyed glares and huffing right now anyway. He was still in class, so texting him now would be perfect, because if Sasuke didn't reply, it just meant he was in class and not ignoring him. He couldn't tell him what he wanted to tell him face to face because he didn't want to see that expression ever again. So, he started typing.

'I cnt handle u mad at me nemor ok so Im sayin sorry. Sorry'

He put his phone back in his pocket and finished off his third bowl, feeling almost full afterward. He picked up his coffee as his phone vibrated.

'I'm not mad.'

'Clda fooled me' Naruto texted back instantly. He thought for a second and added. 'U hvnt tlkd to me in weeks'

His phone vibrated a few minutes later.

'We're talking now.'

Naruto looked at that for a second and gulped his coffee. Sasuke texted again.

'I'm not mad at you, okay.'

Yeah. Right. 'Wat r u thn?'

Fuck this was hard, this wasn't like a normal fight where they say sorry and get over it. This was … so not that, Naruto had never done this before. Naruto didn't think Sasuke was going to respond. He finished his coffee and stared out the window for a bit. There was a kid poking a rock with a stick. The kid's mother looked at them, but then continued talking to the other woman, who was holding tightly onto the wrist of the kid next to her while the kid tried to get to the kid with the stick and the rock.

Naruto's phone vibrated. 'Please tell me you didn't drag me away from my essay to accuse me of things that you've made up in your stupid head.'

'I havnt made up neting!' Naruto added a second later. 'I hav eyes u no'

'I'm not mad. I'm BUSY.'

Naruto started typing again. 'well im ...' sorry for jumping on you and scaring the crap out of you like that. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I just couldn't control myself because you're so hot. Now to tell him that, but maybe not that last part about him being hot. Naruto deleted the "well im".

'U r ALWAYS busy'

'Yes. I am.'

'Wll dnt let me keep u frm bein BUSY.'

Naruto shoved his phone back in his pocket and gulped his coffee, slapping the mug back down and pushing it angrily into the middle of the table. He was full of shit. He was always busy, but that never stopped them talking before. He was so full of shit.

Naruto ignored his phone. No. He can go hang. Whatever, if he didn't want to talk, fine. Fine. Naruto wasn't going to respond no matter what the message said. He glanced at the message for a second.

'Why did you kiss me?'

Naruto put his phone down. "Because you're hot and I couldn't help myself" probably wasn't the best thing to say right now. He picked the phone up and typed something, deleted it, started again like five times before settling on 'I dnt know ok' Naruto started typing "Ur drvn me crazy" but deleted it, started again, but started to delete it and ended up sending 'Ur drivn'

'Shit,' Naruto said out loud, realising what he'd done. He texted again quickly.

'I ddn't mean to'

A few minutes went by before Naruto's phone vibrated again.

'Really?

Naruto felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He had to end this, before he said something he regretted. So he went with, 'I jst wnt 2 4get it u no'

Another few minutes went by, Naruto had time to order another coffee and have it halfway down before Sasuke finally replied.

'I'll see you later, moron.'

Naruto entered his room to change. He fished around on the floor for some clean and dry slacks. Study wasn't going to happen tonight, his brain was mush and he wouldn't be able to concentrate anyways, so he flopped on the couch and turned the TV on.

Sasuke came home around nine and without acknowledging Naruto went to the kitchen. A wave of annoyance washed through Naruto, which made him determined as he stalked after him. He was going to deal with this once and for all, Sasuke was going to accept his apology and like it and that was that. Sasuke closed the fridge, still ignoring him. Naruto blew a sharp breath in Sasuke's ear making him flinch and frown.

'Yo,' Naruto began, eyeing Sasuke. 'You gonna tell me why you've been torturing me all this time?'

'Torturing you?' Sasuke said as he set up his computer at the dining table. He pulled a notepad from his bag and leafed to a page. A flash of anger shot through Naruto. He slammed the notebook closed

'Fuck's sake, Sasuke, I thought you hated me!' Naruto yelled. 'You haven't talked to me, you won't look at me, I've barely seen you. What the hell was I supposed to think? Huh?'

Sasuke wiped his finger over his lip as his eyes narrowed. He opened the notebook again.

'You wouldn't look at me either.'

'I thought you wanted space.'

'And why would you think that?'

Naruto scoffed. 'How you reacted when – for all his sudden courage, Naruto couldn't say it out loud to his face – 'it's not like you were begging for more,' Naruto muttered.

'You took me by surprise. That's all.'

'Really?'

'Yes.'

Naruto processed this for a second; the anger seeped away, and he rubbed the back of his head.

'I just want to say sorry, okay. So, sorry. It won't happen again. Promise.'

Sasuke glanced at Naruto. 'You already said that.'

'Well I'm saying it again.'

'And I'll say it again. It's okay.'

'Sure? Because it didn't really seem okay when …' Naruto rubbed his neck again. 'You obviously didn't enjoy it as much as I did.'

'If it was anyone other than you, I would have slapped them.'

Naruto's heart pounded. He went and got some water, just to get away from Sasuke for a minute. Sasuke didn't like him like that. Of course, he didn't, he was Sasuke and Naruto was … Naruto. No way. They would never gel like that.

'Want me to cook something?' He was meant to sound light and enthusiastic, but he didn't sound like that at all. Not even close.

Sasuke shook his head. 'Thanks though.' He turned to his homework and didn't look at him again.

Naruto felt like someone had punched him in the gut and had left him to drag his entrails across a vast active battlefield. Sasuke didn't have any feelings for him. Not like that anyway. But that was cool, what was he expecting? Did he expect Sasuke to drop his hot boyfriend for him? Did he expect him to actually feel the same when Naruto had spent the past eighteen years making his life a living hell? Of course, Sasuke didn't like him like that, but it was just going to sting for a minute, before Naruto could grin and, like he'd been doing for the past eighteen years, brush it off. Naruto sighed and swiped his fingers through his hair. It would have been nice, you know. To give it a shot. But, he'd already pushed that boundary once. He wasn't going to do it again. He could play this cool, pretend like nothing happened, like the past few weeks weren't real and that his entire world perspective hadn't shifted one eighty degrees to the left. Yeah, no problem. He could totally do it.

Sasuke was staring intently at something he'd written on the screen. He was about to start typing.

'Yo, Sasuke ...'

Sasuke turned halfway to Naruto, but his eyes stayed on the screen. 'Hmm?'

'We're cool, right?'

Sasuke nodded absently, his eyes working over what was written on the screen. 'Mm,' he grunted in reply. Naruto grinned. Good. Yeah, good. Good. He slapped Sasuke on the back and returned to the couch. He wasn't quite satisfied with Sasuke's namby-pamby response, so he got his phone out and flicked a quick text.

'I fckd up dnt hate me OK only "herm",' he texted.

A minute later his phone vibrated.

'If you don't shut up, I'm going to beat you over the head with your phone.'

Naruto couldn't hold back the snort. Yeah, they were cool.

Next day, Naruto was determined to push the whole stupid thing to the back of his mind. He needed to get his head off Sasuke or he would worry himself to death. He was still his best friend, right? That wasn't going to change, and he would beat the idiot who tried to change it to a pulp.

Lunch time came mercifully quickly, and Naruto had decided the cafeteria, for once would be a good place to kick it for the hour. He needed to see friends that didn't kick him in the balls every two seconds and actually liked being around him. He'd planned it during Pysch; he sent a text to a group of the guys to meet up at lunch so they could entertain him.

Naruto looked around the circular room at the packed tables. Shikamaru was all over that blonde with the crazy blue eyes. Naruto headed over and instantly felt a tap on his left shoulder. He whirled to see who it was and Akamaru looked away innocently. Naruto grinned and slapped him on the back.

'Hey, Naruto, where's your wife?'

Naruto shrugged as he sat down between Shikamaru and Neji. 'Dunno, probably boning some text book.'

Shikamaru and Ino promptly stood from the table. 'Yeah, it's a drag, but I left my ... science ... book in the lab.' He dragged a giggling Ino behind him as they weaved their way away from the table.

'And he needs her to help him find it,' Neji muttered, looking up for a second from the notes he was working on.

'Sakura!' Naruto called and waved, noticing her heading in their direction. She smiled and gave a small wave as she made her way over, taking up the seat Shikamaru had just exited.

'Hi, guys,' she said, plonking an armful of books on the table in front of her, but holding tightly to the large brown disposable cup. She sipped it and collapsed slightly in her seat.

'You look a bit – '

Sakura cut Naruto off with a "don't even" glare. Naruto held up his hands defensively.

'I need – '

'Coffee,' Kiba and Akamaru chimed together.

Naruto scowled at them sarcastically and stood, heading over to the counter. He grabbed an iced coffee and paid, heading back over.

Lee made his way through the tables and waved energetically when he saw the group. Neji made room for him next to Sakura. Lee bowed deeply at the group and promptly planted a kiss on Sakura's cheek, who in her exhaustion slapped him in the mouth then gasped.

'Sorry!' she said and patted his face. 'I'm so sorry.'

Lee smiled, wiping his lips. 'It's okay. It's like a kiss from the summer's sun. And burns just the same,' he added. Sakura patted him on the arm and gave him a small hug, before taking a long sip of her coffee.

Sai arrived a minute later, didn't say anything but smiled his smile to the group. He squatted on the floor next to Naruto while Sakura found him a chair.

'Thank you,' he said and sat, rubbing his thighs. 'That was very uncomfortable.'

'Then why'd you do it, dude?' Akamaru asked, looking up from his phone. 'No one said, squat on the floor like a moron, you know.'

'I don't know,' was all Sai said. He picked at his sandwich, pulling the lettuce out covered in mayonnaise.

'Hi ... Na ... Naruto,' Hinata whispered, scaring the crap out of him. He flinched and nearly smacked Sai in the face.

'Hinata! Don't fucking sneak up on people like that!' He grabbed his chest as his heart hammered. 'Geez, give a guy a heart attack would ya.'

Hinata looked lost as she sat next to Sakura. Lee patted her head and made shushing noises at her to try and calm her down. She smiled, her eyes blank, obviously wishing he would stop, but too polite to say anything.

Akamaru pumped the air, throwing his phone on the table. 'Yes!' he proclaimed loudly.

'What?' Naruto asked.

'Transfer came through,' Neji said, like everyone would know what that meant.

'The story's in!' Kiba stood quickly, dialling a number. 'Gotta go.' He rushed off through the throng.

'Where's Sasuke?' Sakura asked Naruto. Naruto shrugged.

'Working, I guess.'

Sakura frowned. 'Shame. Haven't seen him for a while.'

'Yeah, well, he – ' Naruto's phone vibrated, interrupting him. He took it out and read the text.

'Can you bring me something? I'm in the library. Just something light and a tea.'

'Sure,' Naruto texted back.

'I need to bring our study session up to six, if that's okay with you,' Sai said in Naruto's ear. 'I need to get a component of my research done later.'

Naruto glanced at him. He was smiling, crinkling and sparkling.

'Naruto, why don't you just ask him to come here? He needs to take a break too.'

'Who needs fucking angles anyway? Like you're ever going to use them in the real world!'

'Naruto?' Sai pressed gently.

'Hey, knucklehead, can I borrow your notes? I think my guitar ate mine.'

'Sakura, there is a new play opening tonight, and I'll be honoured if you would come with me.'

'Naruto, if you can't do six, we can reschedule for later in the week, the project is due in two weeks, so I'll be free on Friday. If that suits you better.'

'I don't know, Lee. I'm up to my eyeballs with study at the moment.'

'I could help you, Sakura.'

'Sure,' Naruto said to Sai. 'Friday will be great.'

Sai smiled and squeezed his arm. 'Good.'

Naruto rifled around in his bag and produced his notebook from music. He ripped them out and handed them to Kiba. 'Here,' he said.

Kiba saluted. Naruto got up. 'I'm just going to deliver his highness's lunch for him. I'll be back in a minute.'

'I'll come with you,' Sakura offered. Naruto actually liked the idea. He smooshed Sai on the forehead and waved to the rest of them and headed over to the counter. They got Sasuke a sushi box and a tea and headed out of the cafeteria.

'Did you invite Sasuke?' Sakura said as they walked.

'He didn't want to come.'

Sakura produced her bright pink phone and held it out to Naruto.

'His name isn't in the recipients, Naruto.'

'So? He didn't want to come, so I didn't bother texting him.'

'Oh, okay then,' Sakura said. She looked like she wanted to say something else but didn't.

'Thanks for your advice, by the way,' Naruto blurted suddenly. 'Thanks. It's going real well.'

'What advice?'

She was the one who told him he was kinda attracted to Sasuke, so it was her fault. 'I messed up big time, because I listened to you.'

'About?'

Naruto groaned. She was seriously doing this right now? 'Sasuke,' Naruto said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'I messed up,' he said again.

Sakura gave him a sideways glance. 'How?'

'By scaring the crap out of him.'

'How?' Sakura asked suspiciously. Her frown didn't hide the glint in her green eyes.

'I kinda ... might have ...' The memory of Sasuke's lips ... but then how he'd reacted. 'I kissed him, okay.'

Sakura couldn't hide the shock, but it instantly melted into a half smile. 'I knew it. You bonehead, you told me I was crazy. You told me that it was impossible. Hah. _Chyaaa_. See, I knew. Tell me everything.'

'There's nothing to tell. I kissed him and now he's weird around me even though he says it's okay, but he doesn't act like it's okay. You know. It's like he's waiting for me to do it again, so he can slap me again.'

'Did Sasuke slap you?'

'No. But he wanted to. He told me.'

They were almost at the library now. Sakura stared at Naruto. 'What did he do?'

'He kicked and shoved and ran away. And then he didn't talk to me for weeks.'

Sakura nodded thoughtfully then smiled at Naruto. 'Did he seem angry?'

'Well, yeah. He wouldn't talk to me and avoided me until the other day.'

'And what did he do the other day?'

'Yelled at me. And accused me of making things up.'

Sakura suddenly stopped. 'Dammit.'

'What? What's wrong?'

'I just remembered, I forgot I was going to help ... Kiba with his trig test this afternoon.'

'He didn't – '

'I better go and help him.' She took off back the way they'd just come. She was crazy. Yeah, maybe not about Sasuke, but she was batshit off the handle.

Naruto climbed the stairs to the library's main reference area. Sasuke wasn't in his usual spot, but all his stuff was strewn around the table. Impatient, and not knowing how long he would be, Naruto texted him.

'Wer r u?'

'In the bathroom.'

Naruto was not going in there to get him. His phone vibrated again.

'Boning my textbook.'

Naruto laughed out loud, earning disapproving glares from a gathered study group. Who? When? Kiba was on his phone back there, so was Akamaru. He sat down and put Sasuke's lunch on his computer, knowing he'd hate it. A minute later, Sasuke came over, pausing when he saw the bag and cup sitting on his keyboard. He huffed and glared at Naruto before sitting down and pushing the bag onto the table next to his computer.

'Thanks. I wasn't packing up just to get lunch.'

'Admit it, you're an antisocial loner and didn't want to hang with everyone.'

'No. I just couldn't justify packing all this up for ten minutes.'

'The tea's probably cold now.'

Sasuke sipped it and screwed up his face. 'Yeah. Fuck. It is.'

Naruto laughed. 'Want me to get another one for you?'

Sasuke gagged down some more of the cold tea and shook his head. 'No. It's fine.' He turned back to his computer and started working again.

'Sasuke.'

'Hm?'

Naruto pushed the bag up onto the keyboard again. Sasuke frowned, looking from the bag to Naruto. He continued working. Naruto pushed the lid of his laptop down. Sasuke glared at him.

'What. The fuck?'

'Eat.'

'I will.'

'Now.'

Sasuke shot him one of those scary looks where his eyes narrow and his lips tighten, and he huffs slowly. He opened his computer, his glare sliding from Naruto to the screen and started reading again.

'You're such a stubborn fuck,' Naruto said and ripped open the brown bag. He grabbed the sushi and opened the container, snapping the chopsticks and shoving them and the container at Sasuke. 'Just fucking eat it, you skinny bastard.'

Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at him. Then he noticed the little red object that had fallen out of the bag. He picked it up like it was poisonous and gave Naruto a questioning look.

'Oh, how did that get in there?' Naruto said innocently. 'I know. I know. Chocolates are very offensive, aren't they.' Naruto plucked the chocolate out of Sasuke's fingers.

'You know I don't eat that shit.'

'Of course not, because you're a weird freak who doesn't enjoy food.'

'So, I'm a weird freak because I don't like chocolate?'

'Everybody likes chocolate,' Naruto countered suspiciously. 'What's wrong with you?'

'Nothing.'

'Coulda fooled me, you weirdo.'

Sasuke's eyes moved from Naruto to his computer and back to Naruto. 'If I eat will you go away?'

'Yes.'

Sasuke rolled his eyes and picked up the sushi container. He picked up a piece and was about to bite into it when Naruto waved the chocolate in front of his face.

'I'll bring you a hot tea if you eat this.'

'Fuck off.'

Naruto grinned. 'I'll make you risotto on Friday, if you eat it.'

Sasuke just bit into the sushi.

'What kind of guy doesn't like chocolate?' Naruto exclaimed, absently unwrapping the piece. He threw it in his mouth and chewed. Sasuke picked up another piece of sushi and turned back to his computer. He held out the container to Naruto; there was one piece of sushi left. Naruto grabbed it and devoured it.

'Go away now.'

'Do you want another tea?' Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged. 'If you want.'

Naruto came back a minute later and handed Sasuke a hot tea. Sasuke sipped it and closed his eyes for a second, leaning back in his chair. He took another sip.

'Shit. I need this.'

Something stirred in Naruto and he was suddenly not feeling so light and airy.

'What's wrong with you, moron?' Sasuke asked, cocking an eyebrow as Naruto rubbed at the back of his neck.

'Nothing,' Naruto said. Sasuke rolled his eyes again and placed the cup on the table. 'I need to keep going with this,' he said flicking a finger at the screen.

Naruto leaned over a bit. Sasuke was so ... so ... Naruto blinked. This was harder than he thought it would be.

'What. The fuck. Are you doing?' Sasuke's lips pouted as he leaned away from Naruto.

'Sasuke ...'

'What?'

'Erm ... can I ... Uh ...' Naruto scrubbed at the back his neck. 'I was wondering ...'

Sasuke placed his palm on Naruto's forehead.

'Hmm. No. Still a moron. You're clear, idiot.' Sasuke smirked.

'Shut up,' Naruto said, reeling pleasantly from Sasuke's touch. 'I just was ...'

Sasuke was giving him the strangest look.

Naruto couldn't help it, he grabbed him and kissed him, forcing Sasuke to gasp. He stiffened as Naruto's tongue found its way into his mouth but relaxed, delicately guiding him closer with his fingertips on the back of his neck. Naruto groaned as Sasuke tickled the back of his neck, flicking his tongue around his.

Sasuke barked a moan into his mouth, ripping his lips from Naruto's. 'Later,' he panted.

'Now,' Naruto growled, pulling Sasuke up roughly and pushing him into moving with his hips. Their legs tangled together as they stumbled toward the bathroom.

'Naruto?' Sasuke said in annoyance, waving his hand in front of Naruto's face. 'What the hell?'

Naruto blinked and shook his head, the heat rising to his cheeks as the fantasy disappeared in a puff of reality. It was just a fantasy.

'Huh?'

'The time, moron. You have to go.'

Naruto checked the time. Shit. He was right.

 **AN:** Reviewers: both of you are exactly right! They do have a close yet awkward, strange relationship. Could this be because they have been skirting around each other all this time, distracting themselves with other guys? Hmmm .. Possibly ;)

Glad you're enjoying it!


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto had woken up suddenly, sitting up in bed on Saturday morning, noting for no reason that his dreams had calmed down a lot. Something had woken him up, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Sai shifted next to him, his hand snaked around Naruto's chest. He was still asleep; whatever had woken Naruto hadn't affected Sai. He sighed softly and buried himself into Naruto's side.

A sound broke through the quiet, mingling with Sai's steady breathing. It sounded sort of familiar, but in his fuzzy tired state, Naruto didn't recognise it. Naruto strained to hear, hoping the sound would reveal itself again, hoping he wasn't just imagining it. He got this weird feeling that the sound was coming from Sasuke's room. Naruto rolled his eyes; imagining what was going on in there. He lay back down, dismissing the sound that didn't come again and settled himself to go back to sleep.

As his mind wandered on the brink of sleep, the sound – muffled, but definitely real – happened again. It was coming from Sasuke's room, but Naruto got the feeling that Sasuke was alone in there. He couldn't quite place the sound, but his curiosity took over his apprehension, and he disentangled himself from Sai.

'Hmm,' Sai mumbled, suddenly cold and a bit awake from Naruto's absence. Naruto bent over him and brushed his lips against Sai's forehead.

'Go back to sleep,' Naruto whispered, standing fully and heading over to Sasuke's room. He still wasn't sure that Sasuke was actually alone in there, but was willing to risk the embarrassment so his curiosity was satisfied. He listened at the door for a second; there were no other unusual grunts and groans which meant, thankfully, Sasuke was alone. Sasuke was making the strained groaning that had woken Naruto. The sound was so familiar …

Naruto opened the door; Sasuke was sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping it so tightly his fingers were white. His mouth gaped and he was shuddering; his eyes bore into Naruto, wide and wild.

Oh fuck.

Naruto rushed to the bed as he realised what was happening. Sasuke gasped again, panting and grabbed his chest. Tears streamed from his eyes, dripped down his cheeks and fell from his jaw. He was cold and clammy, sweat soaked his hair which clung in strands to his skin.

Naruto bent down in front of Sasuke, rubbing soothingly at his arms. Sasuke turned his wild eyes on Naruto again, barely in control. 'Shh,' Naruto soothed, knowing it was pointless. Sasuke's eyes flashed with overwhelming fear as he failed to catch a breath. 'Shh. Just breathe, Sasuke.'

Sasuke's eyes darted from Naruto and back again. He gasped again as the shaking racked his body. Water. Naruto got up to get some for him, but Sasuke grabbed his wrist, pulling Naruto back down. Naruto gently pulled Sasuke's fingers from his wrist and held onto Sasuke's own wrists instead. He locked eyes with him, hoping he would believe him.

'It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. I need to get you some water.' Sasuke dropped his hands to the bed, clenching on tightly once more as he gasped and panted. He swallowed laboriously, once the strangled moan of pain faded.

Naruto went to the kitchen. There was no water in the fridge, so he went to the cupboard and grabbed the biggest glass he could. Glass … Maybe that wasn't the best idea. The desperation started to seep into Naruto as he looked around for a plastic tumbler, or bottle or something.

'Fuck,' he muttered, unconsciously wiping his fingers through his hair. Sasuke hadn't had an attack in ages. Of course he chose now, to spiral down into that particular hell. Naruto's heart hammered in his chest. It was always so scary. Sasuke's attacks were so full on. He would never forget the time he'd found Sasuke clawing at his own head as massive gushes of blood dripped down his face. He said he was trying to get rid of the images. Said that he couldn't take the pain anymore.

And a whole bunch of other things Naruto never wanted to hear again.

He found a bottle in his satchel and gushed water into it. He then rushed back to Sasuke, who was scratching at his palms, wiping them on his thighs and then scratching at them again. A pang of frustration smacked through Naruto as Sasuke refused to drink. Naruto gave up trying to hand him in the bottle and instead sat next to him. He leaned in close; his lips brushed Sasuke's ear. 'Deep breaths, Sasuke. Come on, you know the drill.'

The problem was, the panic and the desperation was so real to Sasuke, that he always made it worse by practically hyperventilating himself on an epic scale. Naruto continued his soothing strokes. There wasn't much more he could do. He pulled Sasuke to him as his breathing finally began to slow, and the ragged gasps became steadier.

'It's okay,' Naruto whispered. 'I'm here.' Sasuke pressed his ear to Naruto's lips, desperate to hear the calming words. 'Just breathe. In. And out. It's okay.'

It took a while, but the attack finally passed. Sasuke sat hunched on the bed, head in hands, breathing deeply. He rubbed at his chest, not quite letting go of the panic yet. It had been a bad one, and once the attack had passed, it took a while longer for Sasuke to calm down completely. He finally collapsed against Naruto's arm. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

'Don't do that to me, you bastard,' Naruto said. 'You scare the crap out of me when you do.' He pulled Sasuke's head into his chest and … yeah … pressed his lips to the soft locks that smelled of shampoo, sweat and heat. Sasuke didn't say anything, and Naruto let him go. Sasuke pulled against him for a fleeting moment, but let go as Naruto reached for the water. Finally, Sasuke sipped at it. Small, quick sips and swallows. He squeezed the bottle in his fingers, sipped more.

Naruto slapped him on the arm and stood to head back into this own room. Crisis averted. Again. But, Sasuke pulled on his wrist. Even though Sasuke's eyes were no longer wild, the fear still shone in his dark stare. Naruto sat back down.

'That bad, huh?'

Sasuke just squeezed his wrist, unable to actually say the words.

Naruto laughed lightly and laid down next to Sasuke. 'Haven't done this for a while,' he said. 'You owe me, bro.'

Sasuke tucked his arms into his chest. There was only a slight tickle against Naruto's chest, where his forearm rested. Naruto stroked Sasuke's hair, hoping to stroke the last of the panic away in the process. After a while, as Sasuke's eyelids drooped and his slow blinking turned into moments of sleep, he squeezed Naruto's arm. "Thank you," he mouthed.

'Anytime,' Naruto whispered. 'Anytime at all.'

He pressed his lips to Sasuke's forehead. His heart pulsed, but he tried to ignore it. He was fully aware that he was lying next to him, fully aware of his body pressed gently into his side, fully aware that Sasuke wasn't pulling away, and painfully aware that his brain was screaming at him, bombarding him with all that stupid crap about liking him and finding him hopelessly attractive. Naruto screwed his eyes shut, willing his brain to shut up. Willing his body to shut up. Willing his thoughts to settle down.

This wasn't the same thing; this was Sasuke trusting Naruto as his best friend to look after him. He wasn't in bed with him, he was keeping him company after a shitty show of his anxiety. It would be a crap thing to do, to dumbly … Naruto looked to the ceiling as an overwhelming urge to find outside courage swept over him. Should he leave? Should he give in to his weakness, acknowledge that he couldn't be this close to Sasuke without doing something dumb and leave? If he tried to get up, Sasuke would just grab him again.

'Naruto?'

'Hmm?' was the strained grunt in reply.

Sasuke pulled himself closer. He was wrapped lightly around Naruto's side. A sudden irrational stab of anger sliced through Naruto. Sasuke couldn't do this! He couldn't be this close and not expect a reaction. He couldn't tease Naruto like this, after shooting him down all those weeks ago. There was no way he couldn't hear Naruto's heart hammering in his chest as he fought hopelessly against the tide of feelings boiling in him?

Sasuke turned burning eyes on Naruto. 'Don't leave me.'

Naruto's heart smashed through his chest, causing him to shake with adrenaline.

No. _No_.

He didn't just say that? Maybe he didn't mean it in the way Naruto took it? Maybe he just meant – but Naruto couldn't think of another meaning. His brain wouldn't let him justify that Sasuke had just been through a crap time and was feeling vulnerable and didn't want to be alone. The words repeated in his head, and each time, Naruto's mind filled in the blanks.

Sasuke's dark eyes played over Naruto's face. His lips twitched into a small brief frown before falling away. Naruto couldn't stop staring. The line of his lips teased him; he just wanted to –

Sasuke leaned up over him, his eyes still playing over his face. Naruto's heart beat painfully, causing a rising heat as he began to sweat. He didn't know what to do! What if he was mistaking Sasuke's intentions? What if he did something stupid and finally ruined their friendship for good? He didn't want to ruin their friendship because of his stupid feelings for him. The first time was a warning; he didn't think he'd get a second chance.

He closed his eyes against Sasuke's unreadable expression, wishing he'd never come in here. This was too hard! He couldn't do this! He wasn't strong enough to resist him, now that he realised how desperately in lo –

Naruto pulled Sasuke down until his ear was close to his lips. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Sasuke shuddered and tensed against Naruto. He was so close. Naruto couldn't … stop …

Sasuke didn't pull away. He didn't move closer, but he didn't pull away, and it was like the entire world collapsed. Naruto memorised Sasuke's lips. They were rough and tasted like lemon and salt. He his lips further down, shivering as fingers twined through his hair.

Sasuke was relaxed, soft, malleable, shaping to Naruto's body. The heat radiated from Sasuke into Naruto. Naruto's mind emptied of everything as he deepened the kiss. He played with Sasuke's tongue, tasting the inside of his mouth, feeling the pressure and warmth. He pulled Sasuke closer; pulled his mouth in further, feeling him shudder, then gasp and then finally …

'Mmm,' Sasuke moaned. His tongue tangled with Naruto's again. That was the sexiest sound Naruto had ever heard. Sasuke moaned because of him. Naruto's cheeks flushed as the sound shot straight downstairs. Sasuke helplessly grappled with Naruto, pulling him closer, clawing at his back, pulling on his hips, digging his fingers into his flesh. Naruto groaned again as Sasuke's fingers dug painfully into the sensitive flesh of his butt. Instantly Sasuke flinched and a hard glint returned to his eyes. Naruto was in a haze as he barely comprehended Sasuke leaving the room.

He decided to follow him, but the bathroom door slammed in his face as he reached it. Naruto was left a mess on the other side of the door. If he wasn't careful, his heart would burst out of his chest and splat on the floor in front of him. He was sweating so hard, and … and … he fell against the door, resting his head against the cool surface. He waited for him to come out. Waited forever for him to come out, but he was stubbourn.

'Dammit, Sasuke.'

Naruto didn't know what to do. Sasuke was much more willing this time, but Naruto couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to end well. He could say sorry? He could try to reassure Sasuke that he didn't mean to do it.

Again.

He did though. He wanted to and wished Sasuke did to. He didn't know what that was back there, but it was probably the happiest moment of Naruto's life. He repeated it in his head; Sasuke crawling up over him, staring holes through his head. " _Don't leave me …"_ Naruto hadn't imagined it. Sasuke had actually said that. Naruto didn't ask him to. He groaned in frustration against the door.

'Sasuke … come on, man,' Naruto pleaded. 'I just …' wanted to see that you're okay. Just wanted to make sure you're still talking to me – yes, that was obvious – Naruto huffed. Sasuke was _so_ talking to him right now. He congratulated himself on his amazing observational skills.

The emotion stung at Naruto's eyes for a moment. He managed to squash it back down though. Friends. _Friends_. He was starting to hate that word. But, Sasuke needed to make up his mind. Either Naruto stood a chance, or he didn't. A couple of weeks ago, there was no chance, but a minute ago, Sasuke wasn't saying no. Was this how it would be? Sasuke would run every time Naruto touched him? He tried the door, but wasn't surprised to find it locked.

'You're driving me crazy, you stupid bastard.'

Naruto didn't know if he was coming or going. Sasuke didn't like him like that, but then he said that, and he did that, and now Naruto was beyond confused. Like, did he want to make out or not? Did he actually want to? Or was he coming on that strong to mess with Naruto's mind? Why did he lock himself in the bathroom? Why didn't he just leave?

Naruto couldn't hear the shower, so he wasn't washing away Naruto's touch. He was probably just sitting on the throne like the princess he was. Naruto huffed again. He was in hell and it was threatening to swallow him whole.

'What are you doing?' Naruto whipped around instantly. Sai. 'You weren't there when I woke up.' Without thinking, Naruto balled Sai into his room and closed the door behind them. 'Naruto –'

'Yeah. Sasuke was having a –'

Sai pulled his arm out of Naruto's grip. 'Sasuke …' all the light left his eyes and his lips formed into an annoyed pout. He kissed Naruto on the cheek. 'Goodbye, Naruto.'

Sai left him in his room. Naruto thought about going after him. _Everybody knows._ Did that include Sai? Naruto let the crap feelings punish his mind for exactly two minutes and thirty-seven seconds. There was something about Sai that drew Naruto to him. He was weird, and strange, and different. He was shy, but didn't let that stop him. He said it how it was, and didn't really care much about other people's opinions about him. He was his own person, definitely individual, and definitely unique. In fact …

Naruto let out a snort of ironic laughter. Sai was a lot like Sasuke, difference was, he _wasn't_ Sasuke. Naruto stepped back over to the bathroom. Sai wasn't Sasuke.

'Open the door, Sasuke.' Naruto was finally going to tell him straight, for better or worse, otherwise he was going to go insane. Whatever Sasuke said, or decided, Naruto would accept it. He would forget about him, or at least try the best he could to forget about him, and move on with his life. It was the only choice he had.

'Leave me alone.'

So, he was still in there.

'Open the door.'

'Fuck off.'

'No.'

He'd have to come out eventually. They were on the fifth floor, and Naruto was pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't be able to survive on soap and water for long. He grinned dryly at the thought. He basically only ate that anyway.

'Open the –'

The door swung open and Sasuke advanced on him. 'It was a fucking mistake you inept moron. I'm sure even your stupid brain can understand that, but I highly doubt it. I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with you. I can't stand your stupid jokes or your stupid messing around, or your immaturity. It's embarrassing how fucking stupid you are. You are way beneath me, we're not even on the same level. You think I would settle for you? You're dumber than I thought you were. I can't even have a conversation with you without you turning it into a joke. Do you know how exhausting it is not slapping you every time you do or say something completely moronic? You are so embarrassing. You are a fucking idiotic moron, and you could _never_ satisfy me. So get it through your head. Drop. It. Because it's not going to happen. It's hilarious that you think I would even consider a relationship with you. So, let me say it slowly so you get it. Leave me _alone_.'

Each word punched, kicked and slapped where it hurt. Just like everybody else. Sasuke thought he was a loser. His eyes were on the carpet; he couldn't look at him. He wouldn't look at him.

'And keep going,' Sasuke spat as Naruto stepped back.

Sasuke was worse than the others. He had pretended all this time to be Naruto's friend. He was a two-faced, lying bastard. He did care what other people thought of him. Had he ever been genuine? Or had he always choked down Naruto because he had to? Was there any point where Sasuke actually liked him at all? Looking back, he had always ridiculed and argued, and looked down on him. Always criticised Naruto for no reason, never agreed with him, always complained. Always tried to make Naruto something he wasn't.

The overwhelming reservation to clear things up with Sasuke, to apologise for once again losing control, was suddenly replaced with a blind rage Naruto couldn't, and didn't want to, control.

Next thing he knew, his knuckles were throbbing and Sasuke was on his back, rubbing his jaw.

'I might be a moron, but you're a fucking asshole.'


	7. Chapter 7

'Dammit, Sasuke.'

Sasuke stared at the door, frozen to the spot. The muffled voice on the other side sent a shiver through him. His lips were still tingling; his heart was still beating so fast. Naruto was on the other side, begging him to come out so they could finish what they'd just started, but Sasuke had to think about it logically.

Ruining their friendship wasn't going to happen. It always started out fine, but in the end Sasuke ruined every relationship he'd ever had. If he could call those relationships in the first place. The problem was, he wasn't very good at it. He didn't know how to be with someone, because he had been on his own, for the most part, since he was eight years old. It was old habit; independence was like breathing for him. He was comfortable by himself, forgot that other people didn't feel the same. His anxiety when he was around too many people, and the issues he seemed to have about abandonment, had grown with him over the years to the point that he'd come to the very logical conclusion that he was better off alone. He was scared by the idea of being tossed aside and forgotten. His selfishness came from being comfortable in his own company, but he forgot, a lot, that other people didn't feel that way.

There was only one that he felt comfortable with. Naruto had been a constant since childhood. Sasuke was comfortable with him, because Naruto didn't want anything from him. The expectations that others placed on Sasuke made him feel like he was drowning, made him feel like he was being suffocated to the point of hopelessness. His closest friends expected him to be strong, stoic even, in the aftermath of his parents' death. His parents had expected him to take over the family business even though Sasuke had never wanted to. Itachi resented him for being their favourite and expected Sasuke to relinquish his hold on their parents' affections. Girls expected him to be available for them. They were the ones he hated the most. He didn't like the way they thought it was okay to touch him and fawn over him. He didn't like their over-enthusiastic attention; he'd developed an unhealthy anxiousness about going to school because he never knew how other people would react to him.

He would console himself with a very select few people. People he chose to spend time with. Kakashi, for one, was one of those people. Kakashi seemed to have an understanding of Sasuke's anxiousness around other people. Maybe Kakashi felt the same? Sasuke had never asked, but he had allowed Kakashi to get closer than he was expecting.

'Come on, man,' the muffled plea came from the other side of the door.

He would hurt Naruto. That was fact. He would do something, or say something and then Naruto would leave and never forgive him. The potential scenario had happened so many times before, mostly when Sasuke couldn't handle the feeling of being smothered anymore, and then he would start the spiral of sabotage.

Kakashi had started smothering him. Kakashi didn't realise he was doing it, but he'd forgotten to give Sasuke space, and Sasuke knew exactly why. He had noticed Naruto, perhaps felt threatened by him and was marking his territory in the only way he knew how.

He had avoided admitting it for years, but Naruto meant too much to him. Naruto had been there from early on, and Sasuke liked it; he didn't feel smothered around him, but this was different. Sasuke's comfort levels around Naruto had plummeted. The day Naruto started showing signs of expectation was the day Sasuke's heart broke. It meant he didn't have anyone left that just accepted him. Now, even Naruto wanted something from him. He knew how it would end. They would never see each other again. Sasuke's anxiety would get in the way and their friendship would never be the same.

Not that he would have said anything, but Naruto was too important to lose. He had been curious about Naruto's feelings, he'd kissed him, but afterward, for all those weeks, he couldn't handle the hurt look in his eye and when Naruto had apologised, he didn't know what he was going to say to him. He'd thought that was the end of it, but he wanted to know how he felt, because he had died of shock the day Naruto had kissed him for the first time. He had never thought Naruto would feel the same and it had scared Sasuke. His comfort level had been challenged, and he had been pleased when Naruto had given him his space. But then, he started to miss him.

The fear of knowing how this would end up, with Naruto hating him and never seeing him again, was enough to choke the breath right out of Sasuke's lungs. He'd come to the logical conclusion that this couldn't go anywhere, because … he … loved …

Sasuke shook his head and gasped. He had known it for a long time; he remembered clearly like it had just happened, the moment he realised … the exact moment he'd fallen in love with Naruto. He'd come home after his parents' funeral, and he'd gone over to Naruto's home to see him. The door had been open, because Naruto had this thing about locked doors. Naruto had been the only person he'd been thinking of seeing, and he'd found him in the kitchen.

Sasuke shook his head as the memory slammed into his mind.

Naruto was at the kitchen bench wearing only slacks, no top, he was listening to music from huge black headphones, dancing and swinging to the music, tapping a pen in one hand and his chopsticks in the other on his homework like drumsticks. A half-eaten cup of ramen was sitting next to him and his face was screwed up as he silently sang the lyrics to the song he was listening to. He dipped the chopsticks into the ramen and, lifting them high above his head, twined his tongue around the noodles before dropping them into his mouth. He chewed and sang and danced on his stool, beating out the beat again with his chopsticks. Then he saw Sasuke watching him. His face snapped into surprise, mouth wide for a moment before a massive grin broke over his mouth. Naruto had instantly dropped everything, ripped the headphones off and bound across the kitchen, grabbing Sasuke and hugging him, twirling him around.

'SASUKE!' he yelled. 'Man, when the hell did you get back?'

Naruto put him down and slapped him in the arm, his grin widening still, and pulled him over to the counter, swiping his homework, pads, pens, and laptop to the floor. He sat him down and produced a can for him, knowing Sasuke didn't drink the stuff, but whatever.

'Man, I've fucking missed you, man!' He punched him in the arm again. Sasuke still couldn't speak. He was still trying to catch his breath … and …

… he'd been trying to catch his breath ever since.

'Sasuke … come on, man,' Naruto pleaded from the other side of the door. 'I just …'

Sasuke went over to the door and reached out to the cool surface. He would hurt him; it was going to happen, there was no doubt. He'd decided a long time ago, when his feelings were overwhelming him and he could barely control himself, that he was not going to hurt Naruto like that. He would rather Naruto hate him as a friend then lose him completely. So, he wasn't going to act on his feelings. He couldn't. But, when Naruto had helped him earlier, he'd forgotten about his promise.

He shouldn't have given in. He shouldn't have kissed him, but in the end, he admitted, he wanted to and he didn't care. That kiss wasn't meant to happen. He hated that he let Naruto think that this could go anywhere. But it couldn't. And they never could. Sasuke would kill him; he always sabotaged relationships and he would kill himself before he did that to Naruto too.

'You're driving me crazy, you stupid bastard,' Naruto whispered through the door. Sasuke gasped and backed up. He knew if he went out there, now that he'd so stupidly given into the stupid feelings he'd had since high school, Naruto would overwhelm him again and he would give in. So, Sasuke did the only thing he could do, what he'd been doing all these years; he'd gotten good at hurting people, but he didn't want to go that far, but he knew Naruto; he knew exactly what to say to get him to hate Sasuke.

'It was a mistake, you moron. Leave me alone.'

There was silence on the other side of the door; it lasted a long time, Sasuke nearly opened the door. Almost went out there.

'Open the door, Sasuke.'

'Fuck off.'

'No.'

Sasuke could feel the rising panic. Naruto could see through him, of course he could; Naruto was good with people. Sasuke gasped as the fear rose in him; he would destroy him, rip his heart out and he would foster a hate in him so complete, and then, ultimately, he would leave. Forever. Sasuke would never be able to see him again.

'Open the –'

Sasuke, angry that Naruto hadn't taken the hint, ripped the door open and stabbed a finger in his chest. He had to do it, or he would never see Naruto again.

'It was a fucking mistake you inept moron. I'm sure even your stupid brain can understand that, although, I highly doubt it. I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with you. I can't stand your stupid jokes, or your stupid messing around, or your immaturity. It's embarrassing how fucking stupid you are. You are way beneath me, we're not even on the same level. You think I would settle for you? You're dumber than I thought you are. I can't even have a conversation with you without you turning it into a joke. Do you know how exhausting it is not slapping you every time you do or say something completely moronic? You are so embarrassing. You are a fucking idiotic moron, and you could _never_ satisfy me. So get it through your head, drop it because it's not going to happen. It's hilarious that you think I would even consider a relationship with you. So, let me say it slowly so you get it. Leave me _alone_.'

Naruto gaped and darkness clouded his eyes. He stepped back out of shock and looked away.

'And keeping going,' Sasuke said, his heart ripping into a million pieces as the hurt and shock painted on Naruto's face. He had to clench his fists to his sides to stop himself from reaching out. Naruto turned, anger flaring in his blue eyes. He advanced on Sasuke and punched him. The pain ripped through Sasuke's face as he rubbed his jaw.

'I might be a moron, but you're a fucking asshole.'

And that was it, Naruto wouldn't look at him. He was so hurt that Sasuke couldn't bear to look at him. The pain in his jaw was nothing compared to the crushing emotion in his chest. Naruto slammed the front door behind him and Sasuke slammed his bedroom door, pissed that he'd taken it so far. Naruto wouldn't forgive him, but it was better than the hurt Sasuke would have inflicted on him if he'd let it go any further.

Naruto battered Sakura's front door, hoping he'd calmed down enough so he didn't blow up in her face. Sasuke, the fucking bastard ... Naruto shook his head and smashed his fingers through his hair, knocking again.

'Sakura! Let me in.'

'Just give me a second, will ya?' She yelled back. She opened the door a second later. 'Do you know what time it is?' She looked like she'd been sleeping, her hair was all over the place, eyes puffy and squinting.

Inside, Naruto stalked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, not really looking for anything.

Not on his level?

He slammed the fridge shut and went to the sink, then to the counter, back to the sink.

Sasuke had ... Naruto took in a sharp breath. Sakura leaned over the counter, head in her palm. She watched Naruto; obviously knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of him until he wasn't bouncing of the walls.

Naruto went back to the fridge, grabbing a drink and gulping it down.

If he thought like that, why had he ...

Naruto shook his head and gulped the rest of the drink, crushing the can in his fist.

He'd punched him ...

'Are you going to tell me what you're doing?' Sakura blinked and yawned, eyeing Naruto. 'Can you at least sit down, you're making me dizzy.'

Naruto glared at her and continued pacing. Sasuke was a prick, an unfeeling arrogant prick. Naruto had always known it, but having it directed at him just pissed him off.

'Naruto –'

'I punched Sasuke.'

Sakura gasped. 'You didn't.'

Naruto eyed her and her disbelieving look, her palm fell from her mouth as her expression hardened.

'Why?'

'Because he deserved it.'

'That's not a reason, Naruto.'

'Yeah. It is.'

Sakura patted the bench next to her and Naruto finally slumped in a stool. Sasuke was embarrassed by him? Really? Then why had the bastard stayed around so long? Naruto was pissed because he didn't know if Sasuke had been saying all that to get him to leave or if he actually believed it.

'What did he do?'

'We were ...' having a fucking amazing moment and then he ran away. Again. And then he blew up for no reason. No reason at all. Again. The fucking bastard was crazy. Sakura nodded, the light leaving her eyes while the sympathetic smile remained on her lips. 'How do you do it?'

'Do what?' but she knew what he was talking about. Naruto knew she still loved him; she'd just gotten really good at pushing it to the back of her mind and accepting the fact that he wasn't good for her. Naruto wished ... Naruto wished he was as strong as she was. She sighed and rubbed at her cheek. 'I've just been not thinking about it for so long, it's habit I guess.'

'I wish I wasn't thinking about it.'

'Naruto ...' Sakura squeezed his arm. 'He's your best friend, and whatever he did to make you lash out, I'm sure it was a mistake and he will regret it.'

'Not this time. He seemed pretty sure about what he was saying.'

'Maybe he's just confused?' Sakura shrugged and stood, putting the kettle on. 'And whatever he did was the only way he could express his confusion? I don't know, I wasn't there.'

'He called me a moron.'

'He always calls you a moron.' Sakura made drinks and handed one to Naruto. 'In fact, everyone calls you a moron.'

Naruto shook his head, trying to put his finger on the weird feeling he was having. 'He practically accused me of being bad for his public image. Since when does he give a shit what other people think? Huh? He said it would be embarrassing and I was beneath him and all this other crap. I shouldn't have punched him.' Naruto dropped his head into his hands. 'He's never going to forgive me.'

'You two fight all the time,' Sakura said. 'He'll forgive you.'

'I've never hit him before.'

'But, you have. I remember last year when –'

'I've never hit him and meant it, Sakura.' Naruto hadn't held back. He'd put month's worth of frustration, maybe year's worth, into that single punch. Sasuke had landed on the ground. Naruto had regretted it instantly, but he'd done it and couldn't take it back. Sasuke's stunned look meant he knew Naruto had meant it and that's why Sasuke wouldn't forgive him.

The fear smashed into Naruto's gut making him feeling like he was going to puke. Their friendship was over; no doubt about it. They couldn't get past this, Sasuke had finally told Naruto what he really thought about him and Naruto had punched him into the ground. Sasuke could hold grudges for a really long time, Naruto had finally given him the excuse to get away from him.

Sakura had that look on her face, the one that said "don't fucking mess with me if you want to live". Naruto reeled from the look.

'Wake up, you idiot. You obviously like him, or you wouldn't have come crying to me about the petty things he said to you. Get over it. I had to spend years listening to how annoying I was and we would never be together, and how beneath him he thought I was. I lived. He made me cry way more than I ever wanted to. I cried in front of him, he didn't care. He walked away from me. He made me feel worthless all through high school. He made me feel like I didn't exist. I grew up. I got over it. Now we talk. He confides in me. We have coffee. We grew up. Understand what I'm saying to you?'

Naruto didn't. Sakura huffed in exasperation. 'He's doing the same thing to you, you bonehead. But you're soft and can't handle it. Just grow up. Stop taking things to heart and stop thinking that you're beneath him. You're not, you know. In fact, on some level, you're head and shoulders above him. You're kind and generous and put others before yourself. You'll do anything for anyone. You have people around you who you care for and they care for you too.'

'I don't think that it will –'

She smashed him in the side of the head. 'Shut up, you idiot. This is not the Naruto I know. This is not the kid that never gives up; this is not the guy who doesn't back down from the challenge. You're giving up, I can see it.' She shook her head. 'You're not Naruto.'

'He doesn't want to see me!' Naruto exploded in frustration. 'This is Sasuke I'm dealing with here. He's not a normal challenge, Sakura. He's not like all that other stuff you're going on about, you know.'

'Are you Naruto Uzumaki or not?'

'What?'

Sakura rolled her eyes. 'You heard me.'

'Right now? That guy you're talking about is having his heart ripped out by someone he didn't even realised he loved until some stupid chick with pink hair who thinks she knows everything started putting stupid thought in his head. That guy isn't feeling all that courageous right now. He just kinda wants the world to swallow him whole right now.'

Sakura smiled and pointed a finger at Naruto, nodding.

'What?'

'You said it.'

'What? What did I say?'

Sakura rubbed his arm smugly. 'You love him.'

'He's a fucking prick. I don't fucking –'

'You. Love. Sasuke.'

All thought left Naruto's mind as he stared at his smug friend. He tried to say something, but he couldn't get his brain to even think of a thought. He shook his head and buried his face in his hands again.

'I know,' Naruto growled angrily. 'But right now I fucking hate him.'

Sakura was smiling. Grinning like a fool actually. 'Say it again.'

'I fucking hate the bastard.'

Sakura waved her hand and shook her head quickly. 'No, not that, you idiot.'

'Sakura –'

'Just do it, Naruto!'

Naruto huffed. 'I fucking love the bastard, okay. I love him. I think I've loved him for ages, but I didn't realise. It was like it snuck up on me, you know, like I didn't even know it was happening and then you, with your stupid comments,' Naruto stabbed an accusing finger at Sakura who was still grinning at him. He shrugged. 'This is all your fault. He burns me up inside, and I haven't thought of anything else since we had lunch that day. I love his voice, I love his eyes, I love how he's so -'

'Alright, alright, you're drooling, you idiot.' Sakura smiled, and looked up over Naruto's shoulder. She pulled Naruto into a half hug, kissing him on the side of the head. Naruto's heart hammered in his throat as he realised someone else was there. Oh. Fuck. No. Sakura got up, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to turn around. Sakura was gone though, and by the time Naruto was ready to turn around, she had been for about ten minutes.

Naruto pulled in a steadying breath and finally turned around. Sasuke was leaning his back against the kitchen's doorframe, arms and ankles crossed as he stared straight ahead. His jaw sported a slight purple blush. Naruto cringed.

'You heard ...' Naruto stopped as his heart threatened to choke him.

Sasuke turned his head and gave Naruto a superior disdainful glare, with a slight sarcastic nod built in. Naruto nearly collapsed against the counter in embarrassment. He would deal with Sakura, swiftly and cruelly, when he got the chance for doing this to him. Who knew how long Sasuke had been standing there for. When did he even arrive?

Sasuke stomped toward Naruto. Naruto didn't know what to do, Sasuke looked like he wanted to kill him; the glare didn't budge, the stiff arms and balled fists shot a rush of fear through Naruto. But if Sasuke punched him, he would let him, then they would be even. Naruto stood and put the counter between himself and Sasuke. Naruto prepared for the inevitable, screwing his eyes shut and turning his head away in anticipation of the pain that would soon follow.

But the pain never came.

Naruto flinched as cool hands slipped around his sides, and weight fell against his torso. He opened one of his eyes as Sasuke tightened his hold around his back and leaned his head against his chest. Naruto froze; this was unfamiliar. Nice. But unfamiliar. He didn't know what it meant. Did it mean Sasuke forgave him for punching him? Was Sasuke saying sorry for saying all that crap back there? Was he telling Naruto goodbye because he couldn't handle fighting with him anymore? Was he saying that they were better off not even as friends? Naruto inhaled and blew it out through his teeth. If he hugged him, Sasuke might run, if he didn't, he would probably take it as a sign anyway and run. Naruto debated for exactly three seconds before wrapping Sasuke up in his arms.

Naruto saw something out of the corner of his eye. Sakura smiled and looked to the ceiling in reserved relief, shaking her head slightly before disappearing again. Sasuke let go, he wouldn't look up at Naruto.

Naruto was sorry; for losing control both good and bad. About confusing him. About loving him. I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable, you know that. I'm sorry I'm such a moron, I'm sorry I didn't think back there. I'm sorry for pressuring you, I'm sorry I hate your boyfriend, I'm sorry I'm not a better person. I'm sorry I embarrass you, I'm sorry I make you angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed, and everything else.

Sasuke stepped away. Naruto was going to follow him, but he didn't. He was going to call to him, but didn't. For once, he wasn't going to chase him. After a minute, Naruto heard the front door close, but Sakura didn't come into the kitchen. His phone vibrated in his pocket, making him jump. He frowned at the message.

'I'm sorry, Naruto.'

Naruto texted back, the curiosity overtaking his fear. 'Wat 4?'

But Sasuke didn't answer. Naruto waited until morning, but he didn't answer, and he wasn't sure they were on good enough terms to talk face to face. He almost called him, pulled up his contact information, and his thumb hovered over the green phone icon for ages while his brain egged him on to do it, but in the end, he threw his phone across Sakura's living room.


	8. Chapter 8

The missed call tally must have been close to a million by the end of semester. Sasuke had moved out after that night at Sakura's house and no one knew where he was. It was the end of semester and Sasuke had been gone for a couple of months, and Naruto knew if he didn't see him before school ended, he probably wouldn't see him ever again.

Even Akamaru had offered to help find him. Naruto didn't bother asking why, but being desperate, Naruto had jumped at the chance. Akamaru didn't want anything in return, and Naruto had waited eagerly each day for any news.

Nothing.

Nada.

No deal.

Naruto's eagerness and anticipation for the forensic student's outcome faded a little more each day Akamaru had nothing to show. He'd gotten Naruto's hopes up, made him look like a desperate fool and all for nothing. Naruto gave up asking if there was anything new. He gave up looking for Sasuke. He just gave up in general.

Now it was Saturday. Naruto had finished his last exam for the year and was celebrating with a ramen cup which was taking it's sweet time heating up. He also was on the phone, but was not listening to Sakara and her stupid whining.

'No.'

'Why not?'

Naruto smashed shaking fingers through his hair. Sakura didn't get it; he wasn't in the mood to socialise. He hadn't been in the mood to socialise since that night he'd visited her house all those weeks ago. Going to an end of year party, pretending that everything was fine to people he cared about, blatantly lying to their faces, and dragging all those same feelings he'd fought to push to the back of his mind back to the surface was not what he thought of as a good night out.

The microwave beeped, signalling that the ramen cup was ready. Naruto pulled the cup from the box, burning his fingers on the hot surface. He ripped the lid open; a puff of steam billowing from the noodles. Naruto searched for chopsticks, but couldn't find any. He began rummaging through the drawers and dishwasher and anywhere else they would be hiding.

'Are you listening to me? Naruto?'

'I'm not going. But, you guys have a great time okay.' Naruto ended the call and threw his phone on the counter. It rang again, but Naruto ignored it. He couldn't bring himself to face them. No. He couldn't bring himself to face them, and pretend that everything was fine and dandy. He was just starting to feel normal again, and dealing with his friends was not high on his priority list. Once this week was over, once he finished his final exam, he was getting on the plane to France and he wasn't coming back until the start of next semester. He wasn't living here though, he couldn't. It reminded him of Sasuke way too much. He tried desperately to ignore the empty room as he went about his daily routine. Tried to ignore the fact that he couldn't bare to look in the door, and could barely stand being in the same place as Sasuke's room.

He never thought how much he looked after other people before. He was always willing and ready to do anything and everything for his friends. He considered them more like his family, but it was time he looked after himself. He wanted to see Gaara, the one person who wouldn't pry, who wouldn't ask questions. He needed to forget, and he needed to get back to being himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his friends, it was more knowing that the one person he wanted to see wasn't going to be there.

There was a knock on the door, loud and insistent. Naruto shook his head; he wasn't going to answer it. He wasn't in the mood to talk, or have people look at him with pity. He wasn't in the mood for their plans to get over it, and he wasn't in the mood for them to not get what his problem was. Another knock, louder this time, nearly shook the wall to pieces.

'Let me in, Naruto.'

Naruto paused, finishing his ramen. He threw the cup near the bin. It clattered and rolled on the tiles. Naruto sat down on the couch and turned the TV on as another knock banged through the door.

'Fine. If you won't let me in, I'll break the door down.'

'Fuck off,' Naruto said under his breath as he idly switched through the channels. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to disappear for awhile and not be bothered by anyone. Was it really too much to ask? Really?

'If you don't open the door in two seconds, I'm coming in.'

'Go away, Sakura,' Naruto shouted, dropping the remote on the floor. 'I'm not home.'

'Stop being an idiot and let me in!'

Naruto glared at the door. She was serious, and knowing how strong she was she would break the door down, and then Naruto would have to front cash for repairs. Cash he didn't have as he'd spent everything he had on his trip to France. With a loud frustrated huff, Naruto stormed to the door and opened it. Sakura just stood in the doorway fuming. Her fists were bunched at her sides and her eyes shone dangerously.

'Good choice,' she snarled and pushed past him. She gasped as she took in the sight before her. The place looked like a bomb had gone off. There were dirty clothes and plates and cups and everything else all over the floors and chairs and tables. Naruto had got behind in the housework without Sasuke there to bite him in the ass every time he left a mug on the coffee table.

Sakura bent slowly and picked up a large shard of a broken mug. She fingered the orange porcelain and turned to Naruto.

'You're coming tonight,' she whispered dangerously. 'So, get dressed. Don't worry, I'll wait.'

Naruto wanted to argue, he wanted to scream and shout and shove her out of the dorm, but he knew it wouldn't happen. Sakura was determined, and when she got like that, Naruto knew she got what she wanted. Naruto stormed to his room and slammed the door. Maybe he could make a quick get away out the window? Maybe he could run now, forget about his last exam and just change his tickets for tonight? Maybe ... just maybe, he could get away without anyone noticing? But he knew Sakura would find him and kick his ass, and that thought was enough to motivate him to sigh, scrub his face, and grab some clean clothes out of the closet.

Twenty minutes later, he was showered, dressed and standing in front of Sakura. She had her arms crossed over her chest as she looked him up and down.

'Good.' She nodded.

Naruto rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen. He was looking for a drink, his mouth was dry and gummy. He was trying so hard not to start screaming. He knew it would feel good to start and not stop until he starved his lungs of oxygen and accepted the consequences of that little venture. But he didn't. He gulped the water and threw the glass in the sink. It clinked loudly, but disappointingly didn't smash.

He flinched as warm strong arms snaked their way around his waist. Sakura rested her head on his back. He felt light lips on his skin as he stood shaking, hunched over the sink.

'It doesn't get better,' Sakura whispered and let him go. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, willing the fuzzy hot ball of emotion choking him to slide back down his throat. 'It doesn't, you know. But ...' She rubbed his back. 'You are not alone, Naruto. Don't push me away. Don't push any of us away.'

Naruto turned slowly from the sink. The genuine pain and frustration in Sakura's eyes threatened to make the ball of emotion spill out on the floor. He couldn't look at her and shoved past her.

'Are we going or not?' he growled.

'Naruto –'

'Come on. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can get back out again.'

Naruto didn't wait for Sakura as he left the dorm. He didn't actually know where the party was, but he knew Sakura would catch up to him soon. He stormed down the hall, ignoring all the looks from people he passed. What did they know anyway? He was allowed to be angry and frustrated. Who were they? His mother? Oh right, she decided it was better to die than to be there to look after him ... Naruto froze, knowing his mouth had fallen open. He had never ... _ever_ ... thought something like that before. He pushed the anger to the back of his mind and continued as he heard soft tapping coming up beside him. He didn't look at Sakura, but followed her to her car. Half an hour later they had arrived at their destination.

MoMo hadn't changed much in the months since Naruto had been there last. And now realising the party was here, he froze in the door with the overwhelming urge, not in a spiteful way, to run. This place, the last real place he had been with Sasuke ...

Cool fingers brushed his wrist and tightened around his own fingers. 'I'm right here,' Sakura whispered to him. 'I won't leave you, Naruto.'

There were so many people inside. Naruto recognised his friends who were split up into a few different groups, chatting and drinking with people he didn't know. More people to judge him, more people to stare. More people to give him dirty looks.

'Sakura ...' but his throat tightened on the rest of the words. He squeezed her hand as she pulled him into the room. Akamaru looked up from his conversation with Hinata and stood, beaming at Naruto. He made his way over and clapped Naruto on the back.

'You made it, man! That's awesome!' he glanced at Sakura who smiled and pulled Naruto over to a table. Akamaru went off to get drinks and returned a few minutes later with some full glasses. He handed them around and sat, waving Hinata and Shikamaru, who looked decidedly bored at this point, over to the table. They sat and smiled at Naruto too, but didn't say anything, knowing that he would probably just bite their heads off if they did.

Naruto stared at the red tablecloth and Sakura squeezed his hand.

'I have to go make a few intros and a speech,' she said apologetically, 'but these guys will be here, and I'm just over there,' she said pointing to the stage. 'An hour tops, okay?'

Naruto barely took in what she said, but nodded vaguely anyway. He didn't care. He really didn't. He didn't need her to look after him.

The night wore on. People came over and pretended like nothing was wrong with Naruto, and ignored the fact that he seemed completely out of it. The only saving grace of the night was that people kept offering him drinks. The party wove and shimmered together in a sea of colours and sounds and blurs that Naruto was quickly forgetting. He reached for his glass and gulped the remainder of the contents, having lost all taste awhile back, as Sakura returned to the table for the fifth time.

'I'm sorry,' she said quietly. 'The board can really talk when they want to. Can I get you another drink?'

Naruto nodded and held out his glass to her. She took it reluctantly, noticing the shaking in his hand and the glassy eyes, but stood and disappeared among the crowd.

Akamaru elbowed Naruto and leaned closer to him.

'Lighten up, man, the world isn't ending you know.' He slapped Naruto on the back and was met with a glare and tense shoulders.

'Don't fucking touch me,' Naruto growled, bunching his fists. 'You're not what I would call my favourite person at the moment.'

Akamaru held up his hands. 'Whoa. What did I do?'

Naruto turned his glare to him, Akamaru reeled from the heat in his eyes. 'You know what.'

'Sorry, I really don't.'

Naruto sneered. 'I'll take care of it for you, leave everything to me.' Naruto bunched his fists on the table. Hinata looked from the blonde to Akamaru and back.

'Hey, come on man, I tried. I fucking tried, but when you're dealing with Uchiha, you gotta be in the right place at the right time.' Akamaru leaned over and put his arm around Naruto's shoulders. 'I'm sorry,' he said seriously. 'I did try for you. I wish I had found him, okay. I'd do anything for you, you know –'

Naruto stood suddenly and shoved Akamaru roughly, upturning him on his chair.

'I don't give a _fuck_ about trying!' Naruto yelled. A hush came over their part of the party as eyes turned toward their table. Naruto, as always, ignored the stares. Hinata gasped and looked from one to the other. Akamaru got up off the floor, straightening his jacket.

'Hey, fuck you, Naruto. It's not my fault your fucking boyfriend poofed into oblivion. Don't blame me for your fucked up relationship.'

The warm dribble of anger Naruto had been trying to rein in all night, suddenly became a torrent, threatening to burst its banks. He advanced on Akamaru, bunching the collar of his dress shirt in his fists and slamming him into the table. Plates and glasses shattered on the floor as Hinata jumped out of her seat in surprise.

'Don't fucking talk about him like that,' Naruto snarled. 'You have no _idea_ what you're talking about.'

Akamaru screamed his derision in Naruto's face. 'Look at you. You're pathetic, Uzumaki, blaming everyone else because you couldn't handle rejection. I have more of a clue than you will ever have.' He laughed again, and it was the final straw for Naruto. Without thinking about it, he pulled back his fist, ready to pummel the arrogant turd into the table. It's good the cloth was red ... the stains wouldn't show up. He went to throw the first punch but his fist was stopped. His glare snapped to Shikamaru who was holding his fist mid-strike. Shikamaru shook his head in warning. Naruto growled and tried to pull his fist free, all the while, Akamaru was smirking.

'See, can't even handle your own – oomph.'

Naruto snarled and kneed Akamaru in the gut; he bent forward holding his abdomen. His clear blue eyes snapped to Naruto's darkened glazed glare.

'Fuck you!' he screamed and lunged forward, barrelling Naruto to the floor. Shikamaru managed to pull Akamaru off Naruto, and hold him back. Naruto got to his feet, wiping blood from his lip, where Akamaru's fist had connected. With a guttural growl, Naruto rushed at him again but someone stopped him, pulling him back by the waist. Naruto fought against whoever was holding him back, but they were strong. His gaze was locked on Akamaru as he clawed and pulled at the arms holding him from bastard.

'Naruto, stop.'

Naruto, about to execute a barrage of pain on Akamaru, froze. No. He had heard wrong. It couldn't be ... Naruto shook his head, dismissing it as his imagination. He screamed and pulled at the arms again, almost breaking free. Whoever it was pulled him closer; their breath brushed against the back of his neck and ear, causing the hair to stand up as they whispered in his ear.

'Stop.'

Naruto froze again. The voice shattered his rage and it melted away to nothing. His muscles relaxed as he looked at Akamaru and Shikamaru. Akamaru was rolling his eyes and Shikamaru was smirking as he looked at the one who had stopped Naruto. Naruto shook his head.

The hands around his waist tightened. 'Come with me.' Naruto was tugged away from Akamaru and Shikamaru, and the glares and disapproving looks and sideways glances. As he was dragged across the floor, people slowly returned to their conversations and drinks. Naruto stared at the floor, refusing to look at the one who had stopped him. He wasn't going to fall for this shit ... he wasn't even going to play this game.

The guy dragged him by the hand out into the relative quiet of the reception lobby, but didn't stop. He led him all the way out onto the street to the waiting night and freezing air. Naruto's breath came in quick puffs as he followed the one who had saved Akamaru down the street. In a moment of anger he stopped and pulled his hand out of the guy's grip, shoving against him. He saw running shoes stop and turn to point at his own feet.

'Look at me.'

No fucking way. Naruto had gone through hell to forget him, he wasn't about to put himself through the same hell all over again. Slender fingers pulled his jaw upward, but Naruto still stared at their feet. The running shoes stepped closer, and Naruto closed his eyes, his whole body tense to the point of breaking. He wasn't going to put himself through it again ...

'Fuck off,' Naruto growled. The words were nearly inaudible. 'I can't –'

'Naruto. I am sorry,' the words were quiet, sincere, almost pleading. 'I know –'

'You don't. And you never will.' Naruto finally looked up and his heart froze in his chest as he forgot to breathe for a moment. The pain in Sasuke's eyes was unbearably tangible. The shine of the deep black conveyed more emotion than words could ever express. Naruto knew if he looked in the mirror, his own eyes would reflect the same darkness.

'I wanted to pick up.' Sasuke shrugged, the gesture was small, resigned, like it was an explanation. 'In the end, I didn't know what I would say to you.'

'I don't care. You made your choice. You think you can come back here after all these months and I would just be happy to see you? You made me cry, you bastard! I didn't know if you were alive, for fuck's sake! Nah, fuck you, you bastard, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You weren't thinking of me when you fucked off, you were only thinking about yourself and your fucking precious reputation. Don't fucking tell me you've come back to say sorry, or whatever –'

'I already said sorry.'

'-Because I'm not fucking listening to it. I'm done,' Naruto said and took a step back. He raised his hand, defeated, and took a few quick strides away from the one who had caused him to spiral into the darkness.

'I love you.'

Naruto paused. No he didn't. If he did, he wouldn't have put him through this fucking torture for all this time. He would have answered his calls, he wouldn't have left. He knew what he was doing, the calculating bastard, he knew _exactly_ what he was doing. He couldn't stand to be around Naruto, and Naruto, judging by the red hot anger boiling somewhere in his chest couldn't stand to look at him, let alone be anywhere near him.

'Naruto –'

'Fuck you, Sasuke.'

Naruto took off. He couldn't bear to look back, he couldn't bear to even think that Sasuke was even here. Naruto shook his head as the shock set in. His heart was hammering in his chest, beating so fast it hurt. Naruto wiped a shaking hand through his hair as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he couldn't even bear to look at the bastard. He had hurt him. He had broken him to the point where Naruto had actually considered ... Naruto shook his head. The bastard had driven him to the edge of sanity, and now he was expecting ... what? What did he want? He must have got great pleasure out of seeing the result of his selfishness. He must have _loved_ seeing Naruto lose control like that in front of everyone. Sasuke should be proud of himself. He had corrupted Naruto to the point where he didn't care anymore.

Quick footsteps beat against the ground behind Naruto, and unconsciously moved faster. He didn't want to hear what the bastard had to say for himself. He wasn't curious to know why Sasuke had left in the first place. He didn't want to know what he got out of being so damn spiteful. He just wanted to forget that he saw him. He just wanted to forget that he ever entertained the stupid thought of them ... just of them at all. He gasped in frustration and embarrassment as his feelings slammed back to the surface. Sasuke had humiliated him, had torn his last shred of hope from his heart. He had beat him down and laughed at his suffering, he had shown who held the power. Naruto shook his head as the footsteps quickened behind him. Naruto rounded the corner, the campus coming into view. And suddenly, he wasn't running anymore.

Sasuke tackled him and pressed him against a building. Naruto fought against him, finally shoving him hard enough he stumbled back, tripped and nearly fell on his butt. Sasuke straightened, but Naruto was already out of there. Sasuke grabbed at his wrist, Naruto spun around, putting Sasuke off balance again.

'What do you want?' Naruto whispered. His throat clenched to the point the words almost came out in a squeak. ' _What_?'

Sasuke's deep dark eyes played over Naruto's face. He was shaking his head slightly as he tried to suck in as much air as he could. He grasped Naruto's collar in tight fists, pleading with him to listen.

'Let me go,' Naruto whispered. Hopefully Sasuke would understand that he wasn't talking about his collar. Hopefully Sasuke was astute enough to realise Naruto was tired and unable to continue with this stupid game any longer. 'Please.'

Sasuke's brow furrowed and his gaze flicked to the side and back to Naruto.

'Sasuke ... let me –'

Sasuke pushed himself onto Naruto and pressed their lips together. Naruto yelped in surprise and tried to fight Sasuke off him. Sasuke roughly kissed him, collapsing slightly against him, breathing heavily against Naruto's cheek. Naruto unconsciously grappled with Sasuke, his hands pulling him closer, melding their bodies together. He screamed as his brain succumbed to Sasuke's will, responding to the kiss with a groan. And then ... in a moment of confusion, he whipped Sasuke around so he was pinned against the wall and pushed his full weight into him, smashing his lips down on Sasuke's. They kissed and grappled and groped until both of them were breathless and lightheaded. Naruto collapsed over Sasuke, resting his head against the wall next to Sasuke's head.

'I hate you, you bastard,' Naruto whispered.

'I know,' Sasuke panted. He brushed his fingers down Naruto's back. Naruto's heart pounded in his chest and the heat rising even more in his body was making him overwhelmingly compliant as Sasuke pulled his lips to his again.

Naruto realised he was awake, but didn't want to open his eyes. The orange glow of morning filtered through his eyelids as he groaned and stretched luxuriously. He buried his head further into the pillows and yawned, hoping to go back to sleep for a little bit longer. But, the light was too bright, and his brain was already stirring. Naruto groaned again, wishing ... but he blinked a few times and looked up at the ceiling.

The smell of something enticing wafted into the room; Naruto hadn't even noticed the door opening. He turned over and grinned; his gut pounded from the sexy sight before him. Sasuke, in tight black undershorts and one of Naruto's own hooded sweatshirts (the zipper only done up to his navel, and it sort of hung off his shoulder, and was too long in the arms, and came down to just above the hem of his shorts), held onto a large brown bag as he sauntered toward the bed. His hair was messed up, ruffled, falling over the side of his face and eyes.

'You went out in public like that?'

Sasuke smirked. The pounding exploded in Naruto's gut at the mental image of Sasuke walking down the street like that. Sasuke crawled over the bed, straddling Naruto's lap, wrapping himself around him like a cat. He opened the bag, producing a large red cup. He presented it delicately to Naruto whose grin threatened to snap on his face.

'Whoa. You know me too well,' Naruto said and took the cup, taking a long gulp. Sasuke held out the opened bag to Naruto so he could see inside. Chocolate Danishes. Way too many. Naruto eyed Sasuke suspiciously. 'Hey, this isn't just some ploy to get into my pants or something is it?'

Sasuke smirked and leaned forward, the heat of his breath brushing against Naruto's ear.

'Is it working?'

Naruto pulled him closer; Sasuke purred in his ear.

'A little. Yeah.'

Sasuke nibbled at Naruto's ear. The sensation sent pleasant shivers through Naruto's body, welling somewhere south of his hemline. He pulled his head away and grinned at the surprised glint in Sasuke's eyes. Naruto held up the cup.

'I know. I'm a dick, but ... we,' Naruto gestured to himself and the cup, 'have been together for a lot longer than you and me. My first love comes first,' he said in playful resignation and took another long gulp of the coffee. He yelped out as Sasuke slapped him in the chest. He laughed and put the coffee down.

'Okay, okay, sheesh. Jealous much?'

'I love that sound,' Sasuke mumbled, looking to nowhere in particular behind Naruto.

'Eh?' Naruto asked and twirled the cup in his palms. Sasuke shook his head, dismissing Naruto's question. He slid off Naruto and stepped off the bed. 'Hey, where you going?'

'Unlike you,' Sasuke began, almost to the door. 'I prefer not smelling like a barn. Shower,' he finished, shrugging toward the bathroom.

'Sasuke ...' Naruto gestured for him to come back. Sasuke stepped over to the bed. Naruto looked up at him, taking in the sexy image before him. His breath caught in his chest for a second, but then he remembered to breathe. Sasuke yelped in surprise as Naruto suddenly pulled him down on the bed. He laughed again at Sasuke's expense and the look of indignation in his dark eyes. He pushed Sasuke's hair from his face as the laughter died away.

'You are fucking beautiful, man.'

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed against Naruto's chest, trying to get up. 'Shut up, you idiot.'

Naruto smiled and locked his gaze with Sasuke's. They were very ... _very_ close ...

Sasuke's dark gaze disappeared as his eyelids slipped closed. Their lips parted a moment later, and Sasuke licked his lips.

'Shower,' he whispered, not knowing what he was saying. Naruto frowned thoughtfully.

'Well, I dunno, the bed's more comfortable, but I guess I'm up for a change of scenery, you kinky little bastard, you.'

Sasuke could not control the burst of quiet laughter as Naruto wiggled his eyebrows, pouting seductively. Naruto pulled him down until their noses touched. 'I love _that_ sound,' he murmured against Sasuke's lips. 'You don't do it enough.' He kissed Sasuke slowly; parting breathless. Sasuke slipped away and left the room. A minute later, Naruto could hear the rush of the shower faintly from the bathroom.

He could go in there ... he could ... or he could just wait to see if Sasuke came back in butt naked and dripping wet? Naruto grinned and bound from the bedroom, stripping from his slacks as he went to the bathroom. He tiptoed over to the shower; steam billowed into the room, he could just about make out Sasuke's silhouette behind the almost opaque shower door. Naruto pulled it open and stepped into the shower behind Sasuke, letting the hot water wash over his body. Beads of water dripped from Sasuke's body, his soaked hair hung limp over the sides of his face and down his neck. His eyes were closed as he spread his body wash over his chest and rubbed with his palms. He paused and opened his eyes, but he didn't look at Naruto.

'What are you doing?'

'You said I smelled like a barn.'

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, turning slightly toward Naruto. 'And you couldn't wait a minute because ...' he waited expectantly, but Naruto, taking in the sight fully in front of him couldn't actually find any words. Naruto slid his hands around Sasuke's sides and pushed his hips forward while pulling Sasuke back into him. Sasuke smirked as Naruto's reason pressed against his butt.

'That's why,' Naruto whispered.

Sasuke leaned back against Naruto, pressing into Naruto's hands as Naruto brushed his palms over his lower abdomen. Sasuke raised his chin, resting the back of his head against Naruto's shoulder. Naruto nipped at Sasuke's neck, swaying against him. As Sasuke reached up and tangled his fingers in the hair at Naruto's neck, Naruto sucked and nibbled his nape and ran his palms over his sides and down his thighs. He loved touching Sasuke, loved the feel of his skin and the contour of his shape. He loved the warmth and the softness and the tautness in his tone. Naruto involuntarily growled and accidentally bucked into Sasuke. Sasuke dug his fingertips into Naruto's scalp as he stepped back, pressing further into him.

Naruto stepped forward, wrapping his thigh around the front of Sasuke's leg. He trailed a finger down Sasuke's back, he purred and shivered, slowly, gently Naruto slid his finger down between Sasuke's butt cheeks. Sasuke tensed and leaned forward slightly, and Naruto brushed his lips over the back of Sasuke's shoulders and neck. Sasuke unconsciously spread his legs slightly and Naruto kissed his neck.

Sasuke's eyes were dark, clouded with want and ... Naruto couldn't place the mixture of emotion but it was directed at him. Sasuke stared at him with those eyes, half lidded as he looked up from under his lashes. A small pout parted his lips as he trailed his fingertips down Naruto's chest. Naruto's heart pounded, responding immediately to the touch as Sasuke leaned closer to him and angled his chin upward. Naruto paused; every time Sasuke looked at him like that, every time they were about to ... Naruto shook his head, hoping the movement would rattle the reluctance out of his mind. He pounced on Sasuke's lips, tasting and savouring every inch of his mouth. Sasuke moaned into Naruto's mouth as their tongues danced together, and their hands unconsciously explored each other's bodies.

Naruto turned off the water, and Sasuke panted against his chest, resting his forehead against his shoulder. Naruto wrapped him in his arms for a minute and closed his eyes, patting his dripping wet hair and taking in the scent of Sasuke's bodywash.

'What's wrong?' Sasuke whispered, his voice tainted with their makeout session.

Naruto shook his head and stroked Sasuke's back. 'Nothing.'

Sasuke stood up and looked at Naruto. 'I thought –'

'Yeah,' Naruto said. 'Yeah. I know. But ...' he shrugged. They had talked all night. Relived their entire history until last night. They'd talked about nothing and everything. They'd eaten sushi and watched a movie and fallen asleep together in Naruto's bed. It had been the best night of Naruto's life, now that they were on the same level. It was like wiping the slate clean and starting afresh, but something was still plaguing the back of Naruto's mind. He hadn't asked Sasuke, because he didn't want to push him away again, and even now, he didn't think it was the right time. 'Come on,' Naruto whispered, opening the shower and pushing Sasuke forward with his hips. He kissed Sasuke's neck making him purr.

They fell onto the bed and Naruto was fully aware that Sasuke was naked down there as he, for the second time that morning, straddled his lap. Naruto cupped under Sasuke's butt and pushed him higher into his lap and kissed him softly.

'We're cool, right?' Sasuke said.

Naruto frowned. 'Hmm?'

Sasuke shrugged. 'You seem a bit ...' he shrugged again. Naruto pulled him down into another soft but deep kiss and ran his fingers up Sasuke's back. 'Reluctant?' Sasuke said, biting his lips when they parted.

'I'm not,' Naruto whispered back. 'I just want to do this right.'

Sasuke smirked and ground his hips, pressing down on Naruto. He kissed him and pushed him down gently onto his back. He ground his crotch into Naruto's again, Naruto groaned and captured Sasuke's lips in his own.

'Mm, I can see why that Kakashi guy likes you,' Naruto joked. Sasuke gasped and slapped him, but he smirked a second later and continued his assault of Naruto's lips.

'Well, I can see why Sai was always hanging off you,' Sasuke retorted. Naruto laughed and flipped Sasuke over, earning an indignant yet aroused groan from him. Naruto raked his fingers through Sasuke's hair and captured his gaze, locking on and not wanting to pull away.

'You're so ...' he shook his head in sudden disbelief. 'I don't know. But, fuck, you have no idea what you do to me,' he finished, surprised his voice was so thick and low. Together, their lips met and for the next few minutes were lost in their own world. When they parted, the cloud of arousal in Sasuke's eyes was almost too much for Naruto; it captivated him, hypnotised him, he couldn't look away even if he wanted to. Sasuke leant down over him, his lips brushing against Naruto's ear.

'I need you,' he whispered breathlessly. 'I've always needed you.'

Naruto looked at him with eyes he would never admit were wide in shock. He searched Sasuke's face, searching for any trace of insincerity. He found none. He pulled Sasuke to him and their lips met again, their bodies moulded to one another, entwined inseparable, as one entity.

'Sasuke ...' Naruto whispered, brushing his raw bruised lips against the sweat-slick skin of Sasuke's chest. He could feel the deep heavy rise and fall of Sasuke's chest beneath him, hear his ragged rapid breathing hollowly reverberating from within, and felt Sasuke's fingers tickling warmly across his scalp. 'Sasuke ...'

'Hmm ...' Sasuke panted. He arched up under Naruto's weight and repositioned himself.

'Why did you leave?' Naruto knew his words were a frightened whisper, barely audible, but he wasn't going to repeat them if Sasuke hadn't heard him.

Sasuke's fingers fell from Naruto's scalp. After a minute, Naruto relaxed; Sasuke hadn't heard him. Good. Very good. But he had asked. Naruto was fighting his heavy eyelids as he yawned and rested his hot cheek against Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke circled his fingertip lightly over Naruto's upper back. 'I guess I was scared.' With effort, Naruto forced himself to look up at him, but Sasuke's eyes were closed. 'I told myself ...' Sasuke trailed off as he sighed and turned his head to the side. His fingers trailed up and down Naruto's back, up and down ... up his neck ... down to his lower back, up again. 'I complicated things that didn't need to be complicated. I didn't mean to put you through that.'

'Why did you come back?' Naruto suddenly asked; he didn't even make the decision. Another silence followed.

'Go to sleep,' Sasuke said finally and stroked Naruto's hair. Naruto didn't really need to be told that, he was almost there already.

'Sasuke?'

'Hmm?'

Naruto's eyelids were winning the fight. He yawned again. 'I'm glad you did, you know.'

 **AN:** And that's a wrap :) I wanted to do more with this, but in the end it just didn't feel right. I hope you all enjoy/ed it. Thanks for the lovely reviews :) On to the next story ...


	9. Epilogue

**AN:** Surprise! Bonus Chapter! I read a lovely review and thought 'you know what, let's do it.' Maybe I just wasn't ready to let these two go yet … You guys want a few answers, hence this epilogue. Hopefully this will satisfy your curiosity, and I do hope it feels a bit more complete after this. But this is definitely the end. I will leave it up to you guys to imagine where these two go from here. I don't think I can do anymore with them. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)

 **To that particular reviewer (you know who you are): THIS IS FOR YOU ^_^**

 **EPILOGUE**

Naruto ran. The gate had been changed along the way for the third time and he now had twenty minutes to make it to the other side of the airport! He didn't realise he'd dropped his cushy as he rushed through the throngs of people on his way to an automated walkway.

'Hey, you,' someone called from behind him. 'Hey, stop for a –'

Naruto glanced back, but didn't stop. The guy was holding up his cushy; Naruto sort of waved and kept going. There was no time, sacrifices had to be made. The cushy would have to be left behind. He got on the walkway and tried desperately to politely push his way through the people who didn't seem to be in a hurry at all. Guess their gate had been changed to the other end of the place, guess they'd got there in time and hadn't had to do a one eighty with no time to spare.

Naruto ground to a halt behind a guy standing right in the middle of the walkway. His frustration boiled over as he sort of shoved past a little bit, ignoring the indignant yells from the guy. He'd spent all his money on this flight, and no guy in a stupid business suit with a stupid tiny roley case was gonna stop him from going.

The next ten minutes were a blur as Naruto made a desperate dash for his gate. He could see his goal, the big yellow sign said 'gates 88-108'. He rushed down the corridor, his heart pumping quickly with adrenaline. He checked the board on his way down, thankfully the gate hadn't been changed again. Down an escalator, down another escalator, another, rush through a corridor; others were joining him now, others were racing him.

Time was running out. He wasn't going to make it! His lungs were on fire and his steps were shortening and slowing. He pleaded desperately with his body to pick up the pace, but in the end his legs won. He was basically jogging along now, racing only the clock as he passed each board telling him he wasn't going to make.

Finally, he was at gate 102. He'd made it with only minutes to spare. The line was huge, weaving all the way through the lounge. Naruto, hacking for breath and doubled over from the sprint, tacked on the end. He knew the guy in front of him only turned to look at what had arrived behind him, but Naruto didn't care. He was on his way. In ten hours he would be in France, and he could finally, for the first time all year, clear his head and get his shit in order.

He'd spent the past couple of days with Sasuke. Alone and away from nosy friends, they'd gotten to know each other on a deeper level. Naruto thought he knew Sasuke, but the past couple of days had proven to him that he didn't know much at all. Sasuke had been closed about a lot of things, and he still was. Naruto believed he needed time to get used to the idea of sharing. What had happened when he was little had affected him so much, that he felt like he couldn't actually talk to anyone about it. Sasuke had told him about his feelings, but that had been the problem apparently. He didn't want to push his problems onto him. Naruto had scoffed and explained that maybe if he had, they wouldn't have spent all this time messing around with each other.

Sasuke had gone quiet after that, and Naruto realised that there were still barriers between them that Sasuke wasn't sure about breaking just yet. Naruto had tried to open him up about the important things, but Sasuke was so beat down with his own anxiety that he wouldn't even talk. But they had plenty of time now; on the surface they knew each other like brothers, but it was going to take some time before Sasuke would let him in. It was fine really, Naruto didn't feel offended. He knew the guy; he knew it was hard for him to even get as close as they already had. When Sasuke was ready, Naruto would be there.

Sasuke never told him why he'd left, or where he'd gone. He'd been so stubbourn about that one that Naruto had given up asking about it. Even though his curiosity was eating him from the inside out, Naruto could be patient. He'd wait until Sasuke was ready.

'Sir, your passport.'

The woman's tone suggested she'd probably already asked a couple of times, and her expression said she was not happy. Naruto held out his passport; the lady checked it, scanned it and handed it back, moving on without saying thanks or anything. Naruto was probably now a quarter of the way away from the gate. The line was moving so slowly. He checked his pass again; LAX to PAR. Ten hours and forty-five minutes. Ten hours and forty-five minutes until he saw Gaara. Ten hours and forty-five minutes before he could forget everything that had happened this year, sit back on a balcony with a beer and just let the world slip away.

Naruto felt bad; even though he was gagging for some quality time with Gaara, he would be working all the time, and they wouldn't see each other that much anyway. Naruto had considered not going at all, but when Sasuke found out, he made Naruto promise he wouldn't back out of the trip. Naruto had tried to convince Sasuke to come, but there hadn't been any time to get him a ticket. He could have just met him over there, but Sasuke didn't want to. Naruto had joked about him already being sick of him. Sasuke had smiled, kissed him and had agreed. Naruto still couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Finally, he made it to the front of the line, there was that one guy in front of him. The lady waited expectantly as the guy, one who'd given Naruto the stink eye earlier by the way, searched for his boarding pass … and searched and searched. Holding up the line. The woman asked him to move aside and it was Naruto's turn to check in. The woman scanned his boarding pass, but the machine wouldn't read it. She smiled at him and tried again, but it just beeped again. She took his boarding pass and checked it carefully, scanning it again, but it just beeped.

'Uzumaki?'

Naruto nodded, the panic constricting his throat. After all that, his ticket was whack? Seriously? What did he have to do to catch a break around here?

'I found it,' the guy declared and shoved Naruto out of the way.

'Excuse me, sir, you will have to go to the back of line.'

'But, I'm right here,' he squeaked. Naruto could tell he was getting angry. The guy glanced at the line, which still had a ways to go halfway through the lounge.

'We really must ask you to go to the back, sir. If you don't – '

'Look, you obviously don't know who I am, but I'm not –'

'Please go to the back of the line, Mr Amalfi,' the woman instructed, all friendliness gone from her voice. 'If you continue to disturb the –

'Fine,' he spat. 'But you will be hearing about this.' And he trudged off.

All the while, Naruto was just standing there wondering whether he was getting on this plane or not.

The woman had a phone to her ear. '… definitely the flight. But, it won't scan. Yes. Yes, I understand.' She put the phone down and smiled at Naruto. 'This is the wrong ticket, sir. I will have to ask you step aside.'

And the panic bust through his chest. 'Am I getting on or not? I spent all my money on this thing, I've been through hell to get here. I just want to go and visit my friend!'

'Sir, please stay calm. Once everyone is checked in, we will deal with the problem. Just please be patient.'

Not knowing what else to do, Naruto stepped aside. He slumped on one of those really uncomfortable benches and simply sat there with his head in his hands, staring at the ugly blue carpet.

'I don't believe this,' he muttered. He felt like getting on to the airline and giving them a piece of his mind. They'd messed up somehow; why didn't his ticket work? Without a ticket he didn't know how he was gonna be going tonight. He definitely didn't have any more money to pay for a new one.

The urge to leave hit him hard in the chest. He was so over it. He'd gone to all this trouble, and now … At least Sasuke was at home. Leaving him behind hadn't felt right anyway, but Sasuke had convinced him to go. He'd said it would be good for him to forget for a while and just let him breathe, which Naruto had definitely agreed with. But it kept going around in Naruto's head. Sasuke still had him on edge; yes, they were now allowed, finally, to actually spend some time together, just like everyone thought they should, but leaving when they'd just gotten together? Was Sasuke trying to get rid of him?

'Mr Uzumaki?'

Naruto looked up at a guy in the airline's uniform.

'Naruto.'

The guy checked a piece of paper. 'Naruto,' he confirmed. 'Naruto, there's been a mistake. That ticket –'

'Cost me everything,' Naruto blurted.

'Yes, but Mr Uzumaki –'

'Naruto.'

The guy smiled in resignation. 'Naruto, you've been booked twice. The upgrade has invalidated the ticket. You can't fly-'

'But I have to! I haven't seen Gaara for ages and he invited me over, and he didn't know I was coming, but I couldn't keep it a secret so I blurted it one day and now he's waiting for me and we were going to see the Eiffel Tower.'

The guy stared, his mouth hung open slightly, the words on the tip of his tongue. 'I understand. But, you can't take up two seats and your domestic ticket is invalid.'

 _Upgrade._

'What upgrade?'

Now the guy was staring at him like he had lost it a bit. 'Our system shows you on the first class list. We needed you to collect your boarding pass, but it appears they've given you the invalid domestic pass. This is our mistake, and we apologise for it. Now, if you will follow me, we need to get you boarded.'

Naruto followed the guy over to the gate in a blur. The excitement of the past couple of minutes was making it difficult to absorb what the guy was saying, but Naruto came to one conclusion. Gaara was an idiot. He didn't need to spend all that money; Naruto was happy in his squished up seat with a pukey baby or two in the vicinity. He'd have to give Gaara the money back. He had no money. But he would have to pay him back eventually.

Naruto planned to call him as soon as he was in his seat. Which, by the way, was a really cool seat. It wasn't even a seat, it was like a cubicle with a sliding door, TV and –

'Cool,' Naruto said, picking up the drumsticks and headphones. He tried them out in the air. He was so going to be playing air guitar later. A flight attendant placed a small tray with a full glass on Naruto's table.

'If I can get you anything else, sir, just let me know.' Her smile blinded Naruto; he'd never seen such bright teeth in his life.

Naruto grinned at her and she left. There was so much space in there, Naruto had never seen anything like it. It was like a hotel room but smaller. He took a gulp of the stuff in the glass and gagged. It was really gross. But free. So, Naruto took another gulp and hacked it down.

He dialled Gaara. This just couldn't be said in a text, and continued exploring the cubicle while the dial tone rang.

Click. 'What's up?'

'You're a dick, that's what up,' Naruto said, pressing buttons on a console. He didn't know what they would do, but he couldn't wait to find out. The red made a small tray slide down the wall. Cool.

'What did I do?' Gaara asked, but Naruto knew he was smiling.

'I can't give it back, you know. I'll be old and wrinkly by the time I find the money.' The blue button turned on the TV. Just ads. Naruto searched for the remote. 'Did you hear me?'

'Yes. But, I'm wondering why you're giving me money?'

Naruto found the remote and started clicking through the channels. All ads. He rolled his eyes.

'Don't be that guy. I didn't ask you to do this, you know. You'll get the money back. I'll probably have to prostitute myself or something to make that sort of cash. But, I will give it back, believe it.'

'Naruto?'

'Yeah?'

'What are you going on about?'

Naruto was ready to snap. He was ready to cry and laugh all at the same time. He couldn't take it anymore. 'The first class ticket? The upgrade to this cushy little cubicle? It would have cost a mint, Gaara. You didn't have to do it. I mean it's nice and all, but man, you know me, I'm good with what I got. I don't want to owe you money, but now I do, and it's going to take forever to pay it back, but I'm going to. I don't care what you say, you'll get the money back, okay? So, end of story.'

'Naruto?'

'What?'

There was a knock on the door, Naruto looked over; shadows moved beyond. 'I didn't pay for first class.' The door slid open and a flight attendant was looking at someone out of view; she gestured into the cubicle as –

'Sasuke?' - stepped into view.

'I don't know,' Gaara was saying. 'I thought you guys weren't on speaking terms?'

'I have to go,' Naruto said. The phone slid from his fingers as Sasuke squeezed past him into the other seat. The flight attendant closed the door and Naruto snapped back to reality. He looked down at his phone, but Gaara was gone. His phone was on the home screen. Sasuke was settling himself into the seat next to the window.

'I hate these things. You know they drop out of the sky?'

'I thought you didn't want to come?'

'I was always coming, I just needed to organise it. There was no way I was sitting in the cattle pen with you. Who knows what people do to those seats.' He pressed a few buttons and got himself a drink. A few more buttons, and cool air blew over Naruto's very hot, flushed face.

'I thought you didn't want to come?'

Sasuke smirked into his glass. 'You already said that.'

Naruto couldn't stop the ball of emotion rising in his throat. He felt tears sting his eyes as he realised Sasuke wasn't sick of him, and Sasuke was full of surprises that Naruto couldn't wait to uncover. Sasuke was sipping whatever that was in the glass. Naruto grabbed the glass and pulled it away from his face.

He pulled Sasuke to him. 'You're a bastard. You could have just said –'

'But it wouldn't have been much of a surprise.'

Naruto grinned. 'You're full of shit, Uchiha. You don't like surprises.'

Sasuke laughed, and Naruto's heart pounded. In a good way this time. He really loved that sound.

'But, I've heard you don't mind them.'

'True,' Naruto agreed, and gagged down the last of the free stuff in his glass. 'But you said you weren't coming.' Sasuke's not really very imaginative, this was really out of character for him.

'Maybe I needed to get away too,' Sasuke said. 'Maybe I needed to clear my head and think, and decide what really mattered. Maybe I wanted to take my time for once. I went home. That's where I was,' he said. And then Naruto realised Sasuke wasn't talking about France. 'I thought dealing with my family's estates would distract me. I hoped it would take my mind off the fact that I was scared out of my mind.

'I wanted to stay until I forgot about you. I thought going back would help, but I didn't feel comfortable there anymore. After a month I realised I wasn't going to forget and I wasn't at home at all.' Sasuke paused and glanced at Naruto, but he didn't interrupt him. If he did, Sasuke might have gone quiet and shut up altogether. 'Do you remember when I came home and Sai – '

'You were so mad,' Naruto chimed up, remembering Sasuke's face. Sasuke nodded slowly, his lips twitched.

'Actually, I wasn't.'

'Coulda fooled me,' Naruto grumbled. But then he remembered, Sasuke had actually said he wasn't mad. Sasuke doesn't lie, he doesn't know how to. Naruto had simply convinced himself that Sasuke was angry with him.

'I didn't know you liked guys, Naruto,' Sasuke continued finally. 'I'd never really seen you with anyone. I've been in love with you since I came back from my parents' funeral, but I didn't think I ever had a chance. Until I saw you with Sai.'

'Then why didn't you say something?' Naruto tried to be careful about it, but since Sasuke was on a roll, maybe it was okay to ask?

'What would you have said?'

Naruto didn't even realise he liked Sasuke. Sasuke was high maintenance with all his weird habits and mood swings and independence and mood swings … oh wait, Naruto already thought that. He had issues, but everyone does. He'd been through so much, of course he was going to have issues, and the only way he could deal with them was to clam up and keep it to himself and Naruto respected that. But, Naruto didn't even know. Thinking back, he had missed Sasuke when he was overseas. Thinking back, maybe there was something mixed in when he saw Sasuke walk through the door. With Def Leppard pounding in his ears and ramen slipping down his throat, maybe he had been more than happy to see him? But, Naruto couldn't be sure. The history paper had been due, Sasuke's parents had just died and Sasuke was a mess. When Sasuke was gone, the air cleared, the stifling pressure to be supportive was gone, and Naruto could relax. Of course, Naruto was only fifteen back then. He didn't know what he was talking about. He definitely didn't know how to be with someone as more than a friend.

'You were under a lot of stress, man.'

'I was,' Sasuke agreed, taking up his glass again and sipping the contents.

'I honestly don't know what I would have done. But that's got nothing to do with you.' Naruto knew he should be more connected with his feelings. He'd just never got the knack of it. 'I didn't even realise until I had lunch with Sakura one day. But as soon as I did – wham – that was it, you were all I could think about. I think you realised that.'

There was a ding over the speaker and the captain gave his speech about having a good flight and when they were planning to arrive and so on. The seatbelt sign was lit up, Naruto didn't know how long it had been on for; Sasuke had his on so he put his on as well.

'I was so scared I was going to hurt you,' Sasuke mumbled. 'I couldn't do that to you.'

'You hurt me, Sasuke. More than once, remember?' The broken arm, the black eye. Calling me a moron. 'And you're probably going to do it again. Yeah,' Naruto added as Sasuke looked at him with knitted brows.

Sasuke rummaged in his satchel. 'When do we arrive? I'm going to need to get a toothbrush, I think I forgot to pack one.'

Why would he have a toothbrush in his satchel?

'At about seven, I think.' Naruto grabbed his boarding pass and checked. He tried to do the math in his head. If it was five now –

NO!

Sasuke was doing it again. Trying to distract him, so he forgot about what they were talking about. He either let him pull back into his shell, or he could just say what he needed to say. Naruto didn't want to be scared anymore; he wanted to be able to talk to him without thinking he would pull away from him. So, for the first time in a long time, Naruto drew up his confidence and made a decision.

'Sasuke?'

Sasuke was now rummaging in a little black case, pulling things out and frowning at each item. 'I haven't been to Paris for so long, does the airport still have that drug store near the food court? Otherwise, I'm going to have to …'

'Sasuke,' he insisted, pulling Sasuke's hand away from the case. Sasuke stopped playing with the little black case and sighed in annoyance, realising Naruto wasn't going to let it go. This was it, this was the turning point, this would be the first hurdle covered. Naruto had so far allowed Sasuke to get his own way, he would have usually just shut up along with him, but he wanted Sasuke to know it was okay to talk about anything. Even if it was the hard stuff. He just wanted him to talk a bit more, not much, but just a little bit more.

'What?' Sasuke asked defensively. But, he didn't ignore Naruto like he did the other day. So, it felt like a very small win.

The plane started moving, bouncing slightly as it pulled out of the terminal. 'We've gotten this far, haven't we?' Sasuke just looked away. Naruto pulled Sasuke's face toward him, hoping he would listen. 'We have all the time in the world. I'm here when you're ready. I can wait.'

'You know more about me than anyone else.'

Naruto felt the sting of tears as the plane continued away from the terminal. Lights and buildings and vehicles flashed past below.

'But, I want to know all of you.'

Sasuke chewed his bottom lip, thinking it over. Naruto had said the wrong thing; he kept letting his curiosity get the better of him. He'd blown it; he could see Sasuke was gonna shut him down, was gonna clam up again. Naruto had pushed too hard, thinking he could, but of course he couldn't. Naruto was honestly frustrated that Sasuke wasn't willing to open up easily, but Naruto could also see how hard it was for him. Could he be blamed for his curiosity? Look at what was in front of him; how could he not be curious about the deeper stuff?

Naruto sighed. 'I'm sorry.'

Sasuke's cool fingers brushed against Naruto's arm. 'I don't know how to trust, which has nothing to do with you.'

'You can use me for practice?'

Sasuke laughed softly again and Naruto relished in the sound. The rumble of the engines drowned out any other sound while the plane picked up speed on the runway. They were pushed back in their seats momentarily and then there was that weird split second of weightlessness that always made Naruto want to barf.

Sasuke was gripping his arm, digging his nails into his skin. His eyes were screwed shut and his jaw set tight. 'I hate these things,' he whispered.

'Sasuke?'

'What?'

'Are you afraid of flying?' Naruto teased.

'I really am not a fan.'

'Yeah, you are. Uchiha means fan.'

Sasuke smirked, but didn't open his eyes. Naruto leaned over him; his mouth brushed the cool skin of Sasuke's ear. Sasuke pushed his ear against Naruto's lips as Naruto squeezed his fingers.

'Just breathe, it will all be over in, like, ten hours.'

Sasuke leaned his head against Naruto's shoulder, snaking his arm through Naruto's. All Naruto could see was the top of his head. He loved Sasuke's hair, it was surprisingly soft and shone in the weird light of the cubicle. Naruto breathed in the scent of Sasuke's shampoo. He was finally allowed to explore him, finally allowed to spend time with him, finally allowed to be with him. He could finally relax, because he had more of Sasuke now, than he'd had his entire life. He wouldn't settle for it, but he needed to remember his own words from a minute ago. They had all the time in the world, all that other stuff would come.

Sasuke flinched as the plane shuddered. Naruto kissed the top of his head, all teasing and joking gone. He knew he didn't need to say it; if Sasuke didn't get it by now, he wasn't ever going to. But Naruto felt he should say it just in case. He kissed his head again and said, 'I'm right here.'

Sasuke looked up at Naruto. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't smirking and he wasn't frowning. His eyes bore into Naruto, conveying more than words ever could. 'I know.'


End file.
